to be Aware

First of all, AIDS is a scary disease. When you hear it, the first thing you will think of is different from what anyone else will think when they first hear it. I think of my aunt. She was delivering a baby for a woman who was AIDS positive. This lady was in so much pain, and on so many drugs before her labor, that she grabbed a needle from nearby and stabbed my aunt. The needle had been used to draw blood from the woman minutes before. Every six months since then she had to be tested for HIV.

AIDS and HIV can be very scary. Back when I was in school they didn’t mention it much, aside from the fact that it would kill you, was from sex, and that it was a virus. They mentioned not sharing needles, wearing condoms, and not touching blood from anyone else. Later, in college, I learned the history, pathology, and treatment for the disease. I also learned that most deaths from AIDs are caused by secondary opportunistic diseases that attack the person and cause their body to ultimately shut down. Coming in to that knowledge gave me the kick I needed. I now try to help people in everyday life to learn about HIV/AIDS and encourage them to not look down on someone if they think or know another person has it. Sadly, several babies are born each year with HIV. Other people acquire the disease and don’t know they have it. They are then able to pass it on in the right circumstances.

In romanticized sex within movies, strangers have sex with strangers almost anywhere. First dates lead to sex, as well, in movies, but there is never any talk of AIDS, HIV, or other STIs; nor do they discuss risks and protected. This does not help support awareness or prevention.

I have been tested before because a lover was promiscuous, and he had no knowledge of his lover’s history/condition. We had sex before I found out about his discretion. I was terrified, knowing nothing, and went to the doctors. I was tested and found out he had passed something on to me, but luckily I was not HIV positive. Later, I found out the girl he slept with wasn’t positive either, but that scare alone was enough to put me on high alert for life. Those days spent waiting to hear the results were some of the scariest to live through…the uncertainty was painful. I spent hours going over scenarios of how to tell people, if I’d have to talk to my boss, what to tell my other doctors, how to act if I cut myself around someone else. It was endless in my head. I am now in a monogamous relationship, and before my husband and I were committed to one another, and checked out health wise by doctors, we always used condoms and reported on other lovers. Communication and protection during sex is the key. I don’t think about it too much in the bedroom anymore. My husband and I are “clean” and are only having contact with one another. When we do decide to open our bed to another person there will be lots of talking and preventative measures taken, just in case.

Thankfully, there are programs out there that support those with HIV and AIDS. There are support groups and groups for loved ones living with those people suffering from the disease. I just wish people wouldn’t shy away from the topic so much. We need to get loud, get out, get helping, and work toward curing and preventing this fatal disease. Take the time to look it up. Take the time to learn. Take the time to protect yourself and help others.

[box]Support #WAD2011! @EdenFantasys is donating $1 to @ASCNYC for every retweet! Support ASC and 20 years of positive change![/box]

Yesterday, we explored expressions of artistic imagery touched firsthand or via inspiration by HIV/AIDS. Today, a poet and songstress felled by this deadly killer, whose voices have become anthem to a landscape of both hope and loss. Read more by G.L. Morrison

[box type="bio"] G.L. Morrison

G.L. Morrison is a professional writer with a fistful of awards for publishing a buttload of poetry, literary fiction and erotica.

Polysyllabic polyamorist, she’s seldom met a word she didn’t want to fuck (or fuck with) and is delighted to have peppered New English with such savory additions as “heteroflexible” and “flirting with intent”.

When she’s not being battered by the neverending Great American Novel, Morrison lectures, teaches and holds court on sex-positivity, fat-love, writing and polyamory with maddening irregularity.

Her current distraction/creation is BeMuse, www.bemuse-arts.com, a series of art shows featuring a cross-pollination of literary and visual arts.[/box]

[box]Support #WAD2011! @EdenFantasys is donating $1 to @ASCNYC for every retweet! Support ASC and 20 years of positive change![/box]

Regarding AIDS and HIV
World aids day is December 1st

Cocktail: a combination of drugs

A highly active antiretroviral therapy, or HAART, is sometimes referred to as the AIDS cocktail. While these treatments are not considered a cure, they can delay progression to AIDS, reduce complications, and support the immune system by reducing HIV copies, blocking HIV’s entry into a cell. They reduce the amount of the active virus. Cocktails are used to treat both HIV positive patients and AIDS patients. Early detection … GET TESTED!

At one point in history, there was no treatment at all. Then came AZT (in 1987), essentially the one treatment option before cocktails. AZT, from what I remember, had the reputation of being a killer in and of itself. I knew people who refused AZT after seeing what others went through.

Cocktails came out in the 90’s. HAART became the aggressive medication regimen, typically consisting of three or more medications. They increased hope and life expectancy, and the possibility of being HIV positive without getting sick from AIDS.

Finding the right cocktail, as with any medical treatment, can be frustrating and full of side effects. Be informed of your choices, the pros and cons of any medication changes, and communicate with your doctor(s).

Medication compliance can be an issue with many different types of patients…from the emotional aspect, getting into the routine, dealing with side effects, and a number of other individual personal obstacles. Compliance, no breaks from treatment, can be one of the biggest obstacles in the effectiveness of the cocktail treatment regimen. It can result in HIV strains that are more resistant to treatment, and the viral load can rapidly raise. A safer and more effective solution is for doctors and patients to work together to decide to possibly switch the meds to something more tolerable, or integrate other medications to offset side effects.

This is obviously a simplistic explanation. I urge you to take advantage of all the resource materials out there. Information can be found here on Eden Cafe, SexIs magazine, medical websites, and personal blogs.

Get informed, hear people’s stories, donate, and get tested on a regular basis.
If diagnosed, you have an excuse for a cocktail. (forgive my inappropriate humor, we all have our own ways of dealing with things.)

[box]Support #WAD2011! @EdenFantasys is donating $1 to @ASCNYC for every retweet! Support ASC and 20 years of positive change![/box]

In honor of World AIDS Day, Sexis offers a retrospective of fine artists and performers whose lives and works were informed by the disease. While some viewed HIV/AIDS through the lens of loving observation, and others have passed on, their creative efforts serve to inspire us all. Read more by G.L. Morrison

[box type="bio"] G.L. Morrison

G.L. Morrison is a professional writer with a fistful of awards for publishing a buttload of poetry, literary fiction and erotica.

Polysyllabic polyamorist, she’s seldom met a word she didn’t want to fuck (or fuck with) and is delighted to have peppered New English with such savory additions as “heteroflexible” and “flirting with intent”.

When she’s not being battered by the neverending Great American Novel, Morrison lectures, teaches and holds court on sex-positivity, fat-love, writing and polyamory with maddening irregularity.

Her current distraction/creation is BeMuse, www.bemuse-arts.com, a series of art shows featuring a cross-pollination of literary and visual arts.[/box]

With World Aids Awareness Day coming up on December 1 of this year, I thought I would share some things about AIDS/HIV with you. Sometimes I think that we have forgotten that this is still a real threat in our world. We tend to think more about the financial crisis and threats to our freedom than the very real threat lurking in our bedrooms.

When I was a teenager back in the 1980’s, I began to hear about AIDS. I actually don’t remember the first time I heard the term—probably on the news. But we learned about it in great depth in health class in high school. I grew up in the generation that benefited from the research that had been done concerning how one could catch this deadly disease. I was well aware of the fact that casual contact was not the way to catch it, and since I was not sexually active as a teenager (hard to believe, I know), I didn’t really have to worry about it.

I have to admit that AIDS has not ever played a significant role in my life. I never knew anyone who contracted the disease, and I never participated in the risky behavior that led to the disease. So I did not really think about it.

That is until I divorced my husband due to his mental illness, and I realized that I may be getting married again someday. No longer was a monogamous relationship for the rest of my life a guarantee that I would not be exposed to AIDS. While I was not going to participate in risky behaviors, I knew that if I did marry again, I might be exposed to it.

When I became a teacher, I interacted with adolescents, and I was privileged to attend their sex ed training with them. I was amazed to realize that AIDS was no longer a big part of sex ed. It seems that a shift has occurred. AIDS is not taught as being a big-time threat any more. Instead, all the other STD’s are emphasized. I was surprised to realize this, as was the librarian at our school.

Due to my school librarian’s concerns, I thought it was high time that I did some research to discover for myself if AIDS was still a threat to people today. Perhaps medical science had eradicated the threat. If that was the case, I wondered why I had never heard about this development.

As I began to do my own research, I was shocked to discover that AIDS is still a very real threat! In fact, the very students that I used to teach were the ones who were at risk! According to http://www.avert.org/usa-statistics.htm, African Americans are the highest risk category in the U.S. This is what my school librarian had said, and this site confirms it. And it is not restricted to the homosexual population. It is still a risk to the heterosexual population, as well. I was shocked to learn that it is estimated that more than one million people in the U.S. are living with AIDS.

… that led to this article.

Do you ever wonder what other peoples “pee faces” look like? I pee a lot, and sometimes I know I make the most ridiculous pee faces ever. Especially when I should have peed like one hour prior… so I reeeeeeeeealllyyyy have to pee. It is probably closer to an orgasm face than a pee face.

I am so nosy.

I would totally be a fly on the stall wall, observing other people’s pee faces; giggling uncontrollably at them squint, and silently sigh as they finally let it all out.

I don’t want to be a fly on the wall for poo faces. No No No. Grunty faces aren’t interesting to me, especially because the present left after the grunts and groans and poots is stinky. I am not interested in being a part of another woman’s poo funk.

I would also be that proverbial fly on the wall during sex.

All sex. Gay sex, bi-sex, old people sex, group sex…. You wouldn’t really get a true idea of what other people’s sex behaviors are if they knew you were watching. People fart. Unattractive noises are made sometimes during position changes. The moaning is not necessarily as pretty sounding as the little girls on the movies.

I would perch my nosy, horny ass on their smoke stained wallpaper and watch them go at it.

I have had people watch D and I have sex… which was weird at first, but now that I think about it…. triple rawwwwrr. Watch me! And while you are at it, touch yourself while you are doing it. Why haven’t you joined in yet? I wanna make you call MY name out.

What?? Too bold??

Porn = a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. I mean … it is good for what it is … but nothing like the real thing. These sluts know that a camera is on them, so they absolutely put on a show. That is what they are paid for, right? I am inclined to say that porn doesn’t necessarily turn me off… but it isn’t really what I need to get the mood going. Well, with the exception of more than one girl going at it… and then really, it just makes me more mad than anything—because I really would rather just actually be with more than one girl, rather than watch them have all of the fun.

Wouldn’t you?

Sex makes me curious.

How does so’n’so give head? What is her secret technique to drive hubby over the edge? Does whatsherface like it in the butt? I wonder if thatonedude likes to really get into eating pussy? Or does he half-ass it? How many times does Ol’girl call out my name when she masturbates? Does she use a toy, or is she fingers only? Would thatonebitch really make out with me, or would she chicken out last minute??

I honestly have had at least one sexual thought about each and every one of my friends. I have also pictured myself on top of each and every one of them, as well… or were they on top of me???

Anysnatch….

Sometimes, when I masturbate I don’t think about anything. More often than not, I am not me… I am in someone else’s body, with their husband… or with more than one person. Sometimes I am the pleaser… sometimes I just lay there and let my fantasy take over and please me.

I am a toy kind of girl; a no-nonsense, get down to business girl who doesn’t waste any time sending me to that optimum climax. Sometimes I make myself cum more than once in a session. I have sent myself to that point so many times in one session that I cant even pee or wipe or touch it without pleasure-filled pain involved.

Do you picture people having sex, or wonder what their most private expressions are? Or is it just me … ?

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I remember the day so well – I was 10 or 11 years old, and it was a sunny but not overly hot day outside. I was laying in the hammock that was strung between two trees and masturbating. I didn’t understand what I was doing, or how it helped me, I only knew that I had learned about it a short time ago and it felt so good. I would masturbate for a bit, and my body would do funny things and about a minute or two later, I’d want to start over again.

Looking back now, I probably had four to five orgasms and was close to being done when suddenly my mother stood beside the hammock and dumped me out of it. “You horrible girl” she yelled at me as she dragged me back to the house. “I’ve told you not to do that. Its bad, and you’re a bad girl.”

I knew what was coming – another beating with dad’s belt. I was scared, and yet somehow, I felt like I had a bit of power too. I took the beating like always, because it was never wise to fight mom, but afterwards, I thought about the feelings in the hammock and how good I felt. I needed to find a way to do that more often without being caught.

I’m now 40 years old, and as I look back at my life, I see how much I allowed my mother’s actions to teach me shame about the beautiful gift of sex. Masturbation was something that was bad and ugly, and to “come” meant leaving something which would make me get caught, and she’d know that I’d been “touching my pee pee” behind her back. I tried to hold in any reactions because an orgasm (even though I didn’t know that word) was wrong. It was something you shouldn’t have or experience.

I masturbated up until I was married, and after a few months of marriage, my husband learned how to give me orgasms, and I never really needed to masturbate any more. Once in a while, I’d feel the urge, but not for long. My husband was always willing to take care of me even though it seemed to take forever for me to reach an orgasm. He suspected I was multi-orgasmic because a few times I would need him to massage me after we’d finished, but he never pushed me about it.

We had twins, and as we reached the age where our children might want to explore their sexuality, I sat down with my daughter and explained to her about masturbation. I didn’t want her to feel my shame, because I’d come to realize that it can be a natural part of growing up. I did point out to her that my one concern was that it could become so addicting that she’d want to spend hours every day doing it – much like I did as a teen. I explained that when it got to the point that masturbation was taking away from the rest of her life and consuming all her thoughts that she might need to get help or step back a bit. Why? Because I believe that anything that controls us – whether it be alcoholism or a sugar-addiction or even masturbation, needs to be brought under our control.  However, I tried to make it seem very natural and nothing bad.

But for me – I still held back on orgasms. I would start to come, and my instinct would be ‘hold it back, hold it back…it will get on the sheets…mom will see it.” In fact, to this day, whenever I go home to visit my mom, she reminds me of how I ruined her sheets (and she still has them) by masturbating and staining them.

A few weeks ago, we added toys to our sex life. As my husband suspected, I am multi-orgasmic. But he recognized the fact that I was still holding back on coming, and that inside of me I still felt it was shameful. He thought about making us a hammock that I could masturbate in without being afraid of being caught – to try and replace that shameful memory with a much nicer one. I couldn’t stand the idea, though – the thought of being in a hammock made my heart race, and I felt like there was no way I could do it.

We finally had a breakthrough a few days ago. It didn’t take a hammock or anything special. We were making love after he had stimulated me to orgasm several times. I had been holding back, but as he was in me and talking to me and telling me how much he loved me and how warm and wonderful I felt, and as he started describing my cum in such wonderful ways, I suddenly let loose and came. I couldn’t believe the feeling of just laying there and coming, and knowing it was ok.  I had tears in my eyes as I realized that it was ok to feel this way, and it was ok to come even if it meant the sheets needed cleaning, or I was messy.

Since then, I still sometimes have a bit of trouble letting go, at least for the first few orgasms.  However, I now tend to reach a point where I can finally let go and enjoy that release and not worry about the cleanup or what my husband (or anyone else) thinks.

The shame has gone, and has been replaced by utter joy.

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DAVE GAMMON: A very warm welcome Ms. Preston to Edenfantasys.com. It’s a true pleasure. You’ve taken the industry by storm as of late. Such seasoned veterans as Vince Voyeur and Jenna Haze have been singing the praises with respect to one, Chanel Preston.

CHANEL PRESTON: Yeah, I’ve had a very exciting year, you could say.

DG: I’m curious how the name Chanel came into evolution? Furthermore, how had you first gotten the scent of the adult entertainment industry?

CP: I was a dancer before I got into the industry. I’d always danced to Chanel. I wanted to use the name because I wanted to be real and not….’Stardust Girl’ or something, you know? It’s kind of like a girl next door name, kind of in between….so I tried Chanel. Then Preston was just sort of someone I was involved with when I first got into the industry. The person who got me in had thought of it. They thought it sounded great. We went with it. It’s not an amazing story, but that’s how it came about.

DG: It’s got a catchy ring to it. -So good for you.

CP: Well, thank you.

DG: No trouble. Describe your career as an exotic dancer. Did the interlude provide a segue into porn? Is there anything you’ve taken from the dancing experience that has transcended into success before the camera? How does the clientele in a gentleman’s club compare to the typical porn fan?

CP: Well, I don’t want people to assume that I started off as a dancer, and that’s how I got really comfortable with porn. And I don’t want people to think I wouldn’t be OK with porn before, because I really don’t think that’s the case. I’m not going to lie and say it did not have a little to do with that because, yeah I did gain some confidence in being naked or comfortable with that. I think it was something that I would’ve been comfortable with regardless. When I was a dancer it never really crossed my mind to do porn. I never even had an opinion about it.

It’s not like I used to think porn was disgusting or da-da-da. I never even thought about it. I didn’t think it was bad. I didn’t think it was good. So when I was approached I just said no because that’s what you’re supposed to say (combined laughs).

And then I went home and thought, why not? I actually thought I would enjoy doing film better than I would enjoy dancing, although I love dancing. I love being on stage. I don’t like hustling. I never did like that. I was like: “I would just love to say Chanel, this is what we want you for. This is how much we’re going to pay you. Can you do that?” And it’s done, a business deal, you know?

DG: Peace of mind goes a long way with that, I’m sure.

CP: Exactly. There are girls that think they can build a business of dancing. They can; seen it happen. I just felt, for me, I felt I could build my business better doing film. Film is purely performance, where as dancing is performance but then you have to hustle, as well. That’s really, absolutely not my thing. I was really drawn to porn right after someone suggested it to me. I went home and thought yeah this is something I want to do.

DG: Are you still involved actively in the dance circuit too?

CP: Not yet. I stopped dancing, but hope to start feature dancing something later this year.

DG: Oh great! To promote the Chanel Preston films naturally.

CP: Yes.

DG: I understand you were recently visiting some relatives in Alaska. How have those in your personal life regarded you career choices?

CP: You know, and my parents will vouch for this, as well. I’ve always been the girl who was going to do whatever she wanted to do. Not in a “I don’t want to listen to people” sort of way. I never felt comfortable with….well even as a kind in school someone telling me you can’t do this, but in my head I’m thinking, ‘well…why?’ Why is someone telling me that I can’t do this? Why is someone judging me? It’s always just kind of been like that. It’s the same situation with this, and my parents know I’m like that. Why? I want to do this. I understand the consequences. I’ve thought about it for a very long time. It’s not something I took lightly. It’s not ‘oh, I’m going to try this, see if I like it.’ I really thought about it…ultimately they would prefer I did something else (laughs). It hasn’t affected me in a negative way with my family life. I knew it wouldn’t because I trust my instincts regardless.

DG: What’s dating and relationships like in the business too?

CP: Well recently I got out of a pretty long relationship. I was with him before I got into the industry last year, and he happened to be very supportive of me doing this. I think more of what the problem was, was me traveling all the time; me being gone all the time. Because I lived in Hawaii I was very far from everything that was happening (laughs). I was totally worried, though. I was like: “Did I just screw myself out of relationships?’

DG: (laughs)

CP: So I’m still trying to figure it all out, what will become of me in my dating life in this industry?

DG: What provisions do you take prior to a scene? Is there any technique to enhance the chemistry if it is simply not there?

CP: I usually don’t notice the chemistry’s not there until the scene starts. Because there’s been times when I’ve walked on set, and I normally don’t know the guy; we don’t always hit it off right away. And sometimes you realize: “Oh man, I don’t really have much chemistry with this person. For me, I just have to find something about that person. It’s not like I’m disgusted by them. It’s more of just a chemistry thing. I usually can find something that I’m attracted to, or just really, really perform well. (combined laughs)

DG: What separates you from other performers is your unparalleled intensity. Is there any other talent male or female that has caused you to sit up and notice?

CP: I think, from what I’ve been told, what makes me a little different is my more mainstream look. I don’t really have the ‘porny’ look. I guess it’s really exciting for people to see a girl like that, willing to do whatever on film. I like that aspect too. I like that someone can look like a lady on the outside and be wild and nasty on the inside. I totally like that too. I guess that’s my thing.

DG: Are there any other performers that have caused you to sit up and notice?

CP: No. I guess people have always even asked me what talent I look up to. I feel like I’ve been on my own throughout this thing, that I’ve really just tried to enjoy myself. I can’t really say one performer has really impacted me or anything, you know? I guess I just take a little from everybody.

DG: Fair enough. Is there anyone you aspire to work with in the future?

CP: I haven’t worked with Manuel Ferrara yet. I’m very upset about this. Hopefully one day I will. -And Tori Black. I haven’t worked with her. She’s gorgeous, as well.

DG: Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of great things about Tori, sure. What are your views on the condom debate in our industry today?

CP: Initially it sounds like a great idea. Oh that would be amazing. But when you look at the statistics of condom use vs. testing it seems that testing has been more proficient in protection against the spread of STD’s. So now that I’ve looked more into it, I guess it’s more of a concern for a lot of people in the industry. Knowing that you can use condoms but don’t necessarily have to be tested, because I don’t think people realize that a lot of the time, the majority of the time, in fact, our scenes last a very, very long time. This isn’t regular sex sessions we’re talking about here. We’re having sex for hours and hours at a time; and they break. A lot of men in the industry are extremely well endowed. I first thought, oh this is going to be great. Then I really thought about it and realized I wouldn’t be comfortable with that as our only form of protection.

DG: Let’s talk about your website www.chanelpreston.com. What can first time surfers enamored with Chanel Preston anticipate? What features and content is available for avid users to keep them coming back for more?

CP: I want to show a lot of my personal life. Especially with pirating and everything, anybody could go and get my DVD’s, my scenes and stuff. Obviously I’m going to have some of that stuff on there. But I’d like to do something kind of a little bit different to show my personal side, even if it’s videos of me going hiking, you know? -Just everyday stuff that I really enjoy doing. I want people to know more about me than just my sexual side. I think that’s really sexy, when someone knows the different sides of you. I also want to have a section to interact with fans. I really want to hear what they want. I don’t want to just assume they want all this stuff. I really want to interact with them, see if they want say foot fetish stuff or more girl-girl, whatever. I really want to listen to them, make my website for them.

DG: Yeah I think it’s really important to stay in contact with your audience, know the supply and demand, so to speak.

CP: Yes, exactly.

DG: Describe one unusual fantasy or kink.

CP: Do I have one? (laughs). I do! I do have a weird little kink and an unfulfilled fantasy. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’ve never actually done it before. I’ve never watched my significant other have sex with another, with me purely watching. I’m not involved in any way. I’m on the opposite side of the room. Nothing. I’ve done group sex with my significant other, but it’s never the same when you’re involved. I’ve never, ever done that before. I’ve fantasized about it, all the time, just being a voyeur, seeing my guy with another girl. Because I haven’t dated anyone in the industry it’s not easy to find a girl you can trust and you’re willing to just, you know, let her do that.

DG: Exactly.

CP: It would be different if I was seeing someone in the industry. But my weird kink, and this is really weird…I have this thing with gay porn.

DG: No, I don’t think that’s so weird at all. I think a lot of women like gay porn.

CP: The first moment I was in the industry and introduced to it, I was like ‘Whoa, I can’t see that!’ -And ever since I’ve just had this thing with it.

DG: Yeah…

CP: Yeah.

DG: You’d be surprised how common that is. If you could recruit any Hollywood actor or actress to be your on screen partner in your next feature, who would it be?

CP: Angelina Jolie.

DG: Oh, (laughs) no thought in that (laughs). That’s good….

CP: Yeah I’ve always said that too. I think she’s kinky. She has amazing lips. Yeah, she’d be sexy.

DG: Oh great. OK. What can we eagerly anticipate from Chanel Preston in 2012?

CP: Well like I said earlier, I’m going to start featuring. I love dancing. I’m working on some stuff right now for when I’m right and ready. My website…I’m going to really concentrate on this year.

DG: Any special message for your fans, or how can your fans get in contact with you?

CP: Well I’m always on Twitter, and yes it’s really me. People ask me that all the time. @ChanelPreston. So they can come and chat with me on there. They can go and sign up with me on my website when it’s going to be launched and that will be very, very soon. Check my Twitter out and my web page at ChanelPreston.com.

DG: Thanks very much it’s been a lot of fun. It’s been informative. I also wanted to extend my thanks to Chris your PR guy for setting this up. All the best, May all your dreams come true.

Author’s Note: As of press Chanel Preston has been awarded the Night Moves Magazine 2011 Best Female Starlet.

After driving around the block of an upper middle class neighborhood, I see the numbers “4567” and am greeted with a nice and quaint home made of the finest red brick, with a nice fenced in backyard, to which I am very certain that there is an in-ground pool. I nervously walk up the small steps and look for a door bell. Seeing how I am in the big city, I feel the need to look for such things, else I might give these poor people a heart attack and be greeted with a baseball bat.

As soon as the bell was pressed, I heard the sounds of dogs from inside, small dogs, the sound of the kind of yelping ankle biting dogs. Moments later, I hear the garage door rattle a little. Initially rattled by the strange noise that you do not hear much of out in the country side, I realize the door is opening. I back off the steps nervously and find an attractive woman peeking out the half open door, just as curious of me as I am of her.

Olivia introduced herself and instructed me to follow her through the garage. In the garage were loads of nice things, including one heck of a nice ride. My nerves were at their highest when I followed Mrs. Olivia up a set of stairs and into a tiny baby blue painted room with a set of seats and several pictures of religious figures and artifacts. Seeing the alien like picture Virgin Mother being surrounded by light on the wall only added to my nervousness. Olivia excused herself for a moment, and left me alone in the dimly lit room. During this time, I recall the first time I spoke to Mrs. Olivia just one day before on the phone, when she told me to bring pictures of loved ones that have passed, or any items that belonged to them. A little bit of doubt crept into my mind at that moment, slightly degrading her skill in my mind, but a promise is a promise, and I would go forward with this appointment.

I was awakened from my thoughts as Olivia made her way through the door, a little yappy four legged fellow behind her. After she mushed this little guy from the room, she sat across from me and took up a pad and pen. She asked “Have you ever done this before?” I answered with a no, and explained that I have wanted to for some while now. She said “Well then I could be the biggest quack in the world then!” she said with a laugh. Not the thing I’d have chosen to say to a semi-skeptical client.

Olivia took my hands and cast her head downward and began to pray aloud. The words “protect us” and “commune with the spirits” were all I heard. She began to tell me that anyone can do what she does, and that she offers classes on it if I am interested in the future. Olivia closed her eyes and took several deep breathes and then opened her eyes. She looked at me and told me, “There are two older men here.” She said they are coming off as cantankerous and good humored. She went on to describe both men as tall and rather large. She told me both had grey and white hair, one was older and larger, while the other was not as large and was younger yet no spring chicken. She asked me if this sounded about right to me. I told her it sounded familiar, without giving away too much detail. She told me that they were my grandfathers, even though there were slight inconsistencies in the description.

Olivia asked me of my father’s health, if he was unhealthy. I nodded that he was rather unhealthy, but did not mention the triple bypass he was just one year removed. She said that the older man was expressing concern for my father, and also my health. She said he felt like he robbed himself of a few more years on the mortal plane with his unhealthy lifestyle. She said that he was urging me to change my lifestyle and become healthier. Olivia took a break from communing with the spirits of my so called departed grandparents and went on to give me some very helpful health tips. Olivia returned to the spirits and said that the younger grandparent was coming through with more passion and energy now. She said that he was urging me to get out more, and lay off the video games. Again Olivia broke away from the communion to verify that I play video games. I do. I did not mention that I hardly have time for video games anymore. She returned to my younger grandfather, and said that he is strongly urging me to get out and mingle with people that I am far too shy.

Finally Olivia asked me if I had anything to say to my grandparents before they depart once more. I abruptly told her to tell them the first thing I am going to do once leaving my present situation was to eat three Big Macs, and an ultra big side order of fries. Olivia and I shared a laugh before she moved on to suggest that I join a gym, where I can be around people and get the exercise I apparently am in desperate need of. Damn, even ghosts think I’m out of shape.

Next Olivia contacted the spirit of what she described as a athletic boy, she would go on to ask me if I had a young friend who had passed away. Before I could answer, she hushed me and told me it was a close relative, and then asked if I had a brother that had passed away. I nodded that I indeed had. She asked if I had noticed my iPod or music player ever turn up loudly. She said that it was him playing tricks. She was a little disheartened when I told her that I have not noticed these things.

The final spirit she would contact during this session was the spirit of a dog. As if on command, as soon as she mentioned the word dog, one of her own dogs that were in another room immediately barked. Coincidence? Maybe. Strange? Definitely. At this point is when I looked at the clock to see that the session had gone over a half an hour longer than expected. He left with a joke that he no longer has to wear a helmet when he rides bikes, must be a lot of comedians on the other side; in fact I might take Mrs. Olivia’s class so I can get myself some new material!

Olivia concluded the session with a final word of advice, I must be very careful when finding a psychic because there are a few in this town who have been known to prey upon people’s fears and extract thousands of dollars from them. I only wish that she would have been so kind to let me know not to take that right turn which lead me to downtown Oldstown.

I left with the same semi-skeptical belief I had when I first arrived, although it was an experience, and she did give some pretty good advice, in fact the session felt more like what I would imagine therapy would be like. I will not forget the session, I left with lots of good information, including returning to college for a new career possibility.

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I know that this isn’t my usual thing to write about. And as far as I know, no one here has ever talked about The Bad Dragon line of sex toys. But given what just happened, I feel someone who is part of the Eden community should say something.

On Tuesday, October 11th, one of the artists/designers and minds behind Bad Dragon Toys, Athus Nadorian, died in a car accident in Phoenix AZ. He was only 29 years old.

Most people don’t know about this little and innovative company. They cater to the pet play crowd, and the furry community. They make anthro dildos and masturbators. They even have their own kind of lube.

I came across their work via a playmate who is a puppy boy. He would use his K9 dildo a lot when we would play.

I actually met them earlier this year. I was able to talk with the owner and designers of the company. These guys were amazing. They weren’t just trying to sell their work. They were more interested in the people that were there. They were the kind of guys that I would want to have a drink with. I even had the chance to talk with Athus for a little while that afternoon.

My husband got me one of the smaller dildos, a mini one, and the lube.

They were about to boost their production rate. A few friends of mine were trying to make this company just as big as the mainstream sex toy companies.

When I heard about the designer’s death, all that I could think is, ‘what a waist of that amazing talent.’ He could have easily been a huge name. His work looked so real and so artistic. His colors were either real or fantasy.

Truly a loss to the sex toy world.

The most amazing sex toy artist that you have never heard of is gone.

[box]Got something you’d like to say? Check out our Writing for EC page for details on submitting to EdenCafe for a gift card![/box]