Hey you guys! By now, if you haven’t checked the EdenFantasys forum, you’re probably right confused about what’s going on here on EdenCafe. Where’s all the great content? What happened to the writers?!

Well, here’s what’s going on.

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While going through my collection of sex toys, keeping some and getting rid of others in preparation for getting back into sex toy reviewing, I was thinking about why I love being a sex toy reviewer. However, I then realized that the main reason I was going through my boxes of toys was the need to make room for more toys. It also got me thinking about the dark side of being a reviewer. While many of these won’t apply to everybody, every one of them has applied to me at one time or another.

The light side…

1. It’s fun. And it’s damn fun! There’s really nothing quite like knowing you have a vibrator, or dildo, or porn, or adult book, or some combination of all that on it’s way to you! If nothing else, it’s mail that’s not a bill!
2. It’s a positive hobby. It’s something you have that you do, with or without your partner, that provides discussion, interest, orgasms and can really help enforce and/or establish positive self image by providing positive images, ideas and associations with nudity, all body types and sexualities.
3. Community. Need I say more? There is such a wonderful community involved in sex toy reviewing. And while there is drama, there will be drama no matter where you go and what you do. There is no shortage of accepting, kind people willing to listen and provide support, ideas and information about anything and everything sex and sexuality related.
4. Learning opportunities. I have learned so much about myself, my body, my sexuality, and sex in general from reviewing sex toys and other sex accessories. It causes you to think, to research, to experience, and thus to grow as a sexual being.
5. Masturbation. I masturbate a lot more being a reviewer than I would do otherwise. This provides wonderful moments of spending time with myself, as well as a lot of stress relief through pleasure and orgasm. Not to mention how good for the body orgasms are in and of themselves.

The dark side…

1. Storage. I seem to forever be on the lookout for sex toy storage items that I enjoy the look of and that are safe for toys. While this can be fun, it’s also quite frustrating at times.
2. A plethora of toys not used. No one will like everything, thus there always seems to be a pile of “toys I’m not going to use again”, which begs the question; “What do I do with them, then?” While sterilizable toys can be traded or simply given as gifts (to those who are comfortable receiving them) there are going to be ones no one wants, ones that are not sterilizable or even ones that are broken.
3. A constant need for batteries. It never fails; you get that toy you’re super excited about but you’re out of batteries, the ones you have that fit are dead, or the toy needs a special size you don’t have, and it didn’t come with one. While more and more companies are making rechargeable toys and rechargeable batteries help with a lot of these, it never fails that there are toys which need odd camera-style batteries. Frustrating.
4. There will be times when you’re masturbating or having sex simply because you have an item you need to try out. While this can be a great reason for sex play, sometimes it can really take away from the moment, if not even creating a sense of “must” or “have to.”
5. Awkward moment with the delivery person if packaging is not discreet. There’s nothing quite like receiving a delivery when the delivery person knows there’s naughty things in the box. While this is not something that happens with EdenFantasys, it does happen from time to time with several other companies.

The neutral side…

To tell or not to tell. Which this is not necessarily a bad thing, it is an issue many might have. Do you tell your friends and/or family you test sex toys? As many people still see sex toys as bad things, finding out their relative/friend is a tester of these items could cause problems. This is not to mention having to stash away toys which are sitting out when the landlord/maintenance guy comes over, or someone you simply don’t want seeing your new favorite butt plug or nipple clamps.

This article is for you people out there, especially those who have just started their wonderful road of a life with pleasure toys – planned to be written as a kind of diary, remembering the past, and updating the story with recent happenings, which are sometimes funny, and often teach you about things maybe you haven’t thought of before.

I remember that, as a beginner in this wonderful life of toys, I barely knew anything about the types of vibes, materials, qualities. And anything caught my eyes what was appealing at a first sight. No attention paid to sizes, power level and batteries used.

Let me start how it all began.

I have been very close friends with my Master for a very long-long time. As W/we got to know E/each O/other better and better, the more W/we wanted to be together, live together. But alas, there was a giant distance between U/us, and all W/we could do for all those years was to communicate with E/each O/other through the blessings of the cyberspace, webcams and microphones.

Already in deep love and dedication for E/each O/other, and enjoying E/each O/other as much as W/we humanly could, one day He asked me to buy a vibrator for myself.

I asked what it should look like. I very much wanted a black one, my most favorite color, but before expressing it to Him, He just said the more it looks like a real cock the better.

So I took all the money I had, rode my bicycle to the nearest sex shop, determined to get the very best vibe with my little $25 of pocket money I had handy.

The ladies asked me what I was interested in. I said “I want a vibrator”.

“May we ask what kind of vibrator you have in mind?”

“Anything black!”

They were trying to find one with me. But the only nice looking, large black vibe available was about $40.

They said “Sorry, we have only this one, but what else would you like to get for yourself?”

First I was like, “Meh, whatever, maybe I will have to look elsewhere, or come back later.” But after having a second look at the realistic looking vibes, I just picked one, costing exactly $25. I said determinedly “I want this one!” They were a little bit surprised that I changed my mind about the color. But I could finally make the happy purchase, satisfied and excited about the thought of having my very first vibe, a toy I always wanted to have, for years and years and years, and not really knowing why in the world I hadn’t got one sooner.

I was especially pleased and entertained that they put it into a black bag, saying “Well, we couldn’t offer any black vibes for you, but we found a black bag!”

It was hilariously cute, and I was all grateful for their efforts of trying to please their customer with the funny taste and intentions of wanting to fulfill her fetish.

My first vibe was nothing short of realistic. A perfectly sized, flesh colored, all veined beauty with a slightly smaller head than how I like the size of a male precious flesh. It was about seven inches long or a little more probably, one and a half inches diameter, with a red capped twist bottom. It took two AA batteries – what else to say, your average traditional vibe most of the girls start with in their “toy career”.

Having no idea at all what a special lil vibe it was, other than going through toy sites sometimes, dreaming away and kind of sad about not being with my Only One yet to share such pleasures with. I just showed it to my Master as soon as I got home in the big hurry and happiness. I got to test it right away, of course. He was most pleased with the view. Who wouldn’t be!

My experiences taught me about things I had to figure out by myself instead of getting to know them by sites like EdenFantasys, and I had one trouble really.

PRIVACY

Living with my parents, my room was next to my dad’s with only a wall-sized giant harmonica door separating all the noises and sounds. Though the computer was in my sister’s room, which we used to share. I caught every single moment to be there and talk to my Master, or write to Him and read His Wonderful Poems and enchant myself with His Delicate Art Work.

Mom’s room is next to it. My mom is like a real fury, always attacking the door as she opens it with no knocking, nothing to let me know she was coming (my dad was totally the same), always to have a look at what I was doing.

I managed it somehow anyway. I used my vibe mostly in front of my Master, and later, more and more in my own room as well.

The thought of my dad hearing my vibe freaked the hell out of me, even under the covers or on the lower speeds, I was always paranoid that he would hear it. So I rather used it while he was asleep, which developed an extremely interesting excitement of mine, because he snored a lot, so I always knew that whenever he was snoring I had a free way to enjoy my toy.

This way, ever since, when I am all “horned up” and can’t resist to enjoy my time while my Master is asleep. It is like a big exciting game of being able to be wild when I hear Him snore, knowing I can be louder, and move around more.

It also developed another horrible thing. I am still having occasional dreams that my dad wants to take me, force me, or rape me. And it always freaks the hell out of me as you can imagine, asleep and awake both.

My first precious vibe served me wonderfully for over two or three years. Especially because I found out that my Master’s Advice to take it into the bathroom and leave the shower running while enjoying my not waterproof toy (wasting a lot of water for my pleasure) gave me new horizons of exploring unbelievable things about my body and the different ways of pleasure.

It was extremely powerful, didn’t gobble my batteries up fast, and its rubbery surface was perfect for any kinds of clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

Its life ended in a funny, eerie and ridiculous way.

Living with my Master already, I kept it in my nightstand in the top drawer. One day, after hearing scary noises coming from that direction, W/we found out that some mice were lurking in O/our luxurious remodeled RV. The rubber all crumbled into tiny pieces, but I still have it to keep the motor and get a sleeve for that excellent vibe.

That’s how I started to yowl and coax and do everything so my Master would buy another toy for me. And of course I went for the first set that caught my eyes, extremely disappointed with it finally.

But that is another story…

The new trend is to go “Green”. We’ve all heard the term, and some even have vowed to “Go Green!” But is recycling used dildos going too far? Could you recycle your used sex toys? I know I thought it sounded pretty weird when I first ran across it. After reading the reasoning behind the idea, I thought it sounded like something I could definitely do to help better the environment.

Unfortunately, we can’t keep our favorite rabbits or dildos forever. So there are a few people who have come up with great solutions to get rid of those favored toys! There are multiple websites offering to recycle your worn-out sex toys. A simple Google search will turn up many options. But why recycle the sex toys? Some of the websites offer incentives, such as gift cards or credits (Most that offer compensation seem pretty sketchy to me! They don’t have very well built websites, or no storefront.). Some also sell “repurposed” sex toys in return. The materials from toys that have been sent in is broken down, washed, and reused! For some people, this may be a bit too much “Green-ness”, but it’s a great way to keep unsafe materials out of our landfills.

Other than the self-serving reasons, though, why should one actually recycle their vibrator? Our dildos, vibrators, and anal toys all contain ingredients that can contaminate ground water, or take hundreds of years to finally break down into eco-friendly materials. Plastic, for example, is said to take up to 500 years to decompose! That’s a really long time! Our great-great grandkids could stumble across our old used sex toys!

Phthalates are another very dangerous ingredient in most sex toys. It is known to cause severe issues in hormone levels, resulting in adverse genital development, as well as adult infertility problems and possibly cancer. If Phthalates are leaked into ground water (from landfills), it is unfilterable. This means that the more products with Phthalates as ingredients that end up in landfills, the more that ends up in our drinking water.

We can now buy “Green” sex toys, such as those made from wood or ceramic. Yet recycling these toys takes “Going Green” to a whole new level. You can now have a completely eco-friendly sex life!

Now I’m not saying you should just throw the anal beads in the recycling bin, then toss it on your curb. But there are many different options you can use. If the toy is plastic, it can be stripped of batteries, motor, and any other non-plastic components, and can be put in the plastic recycling bin. As for other materials, such as silicone or jelly, there are many options. Just as suggested before, a simple Googling of “Recycle Sex Toys” should turn up a few results.

Recycling any product is a good thing. Sex toys can be a difficult area to figure out when considering disposal. But now we have the option to “Go Green” with our sex toys, and we don’t just have to stick to wooden toys! Recycling those used up toys is a great alternative to tossing them in the garbage to sit in a landfill for the next five centuries.