On August 22, 2006, my husband and I got married. It was shortly after we got married that I noticed he slept way too much. He always looked exhausted and never had any energy. His sex drive had also decreased. When we did have sex it wore him out. My husband started spending hours in the bathtub soaking in hot bath water while drinking piping hot brewed herbal chamomile tea. I worried and worried about him. Until finally, one day in December, 2006 I said, do you love me? He said, of course I do. I said, if you love me you will go to the emergency room. He finally broke down and said okay. I had been nagging him for weeks to go see a doctor or go to the emergency room. Since we don’t drive, I called up my mom and she took us. The emergency room did several tests and sent him home with a diagnosis, which later on would be an incorrect diagnosis.

We were recommended to a doctor, and an appointment was made for my husband. I think it was January in 2007 that my husband got to see the doctor. Well the doctor we were suggested to go and see set up a surgery date to have the problem removed. The day of the surgery, my husband’s surgeon said, let’s do a CT scan. That showed it was not what the doctors in the emergency room thought was causing all of my husband’s pain and exhaustion. It was the dreaded awful C word that no one wants to hear. It was cancer. Not just any cancer, it was testicular cancer in his left testicle, which was removed, I believe if my memory serves me correctly, the next day.

The tumor was removed surgically. Then my husband was recommended to see an oncologist. My husband’s skin was starting to turn yellow, and he was developing a bad odor. He was the shade of yellow that your skin turns when a bruise starts to heal. At this point he had no life at all. He stayed in the bed all of the time. He even lost interest in the computer. When he loses interest in the computer, that tells me right there that something is really wrong with him.

We went to see his oncologist, who told us my husband had a 57% chance of living. I was devastated. The oncologist said he needs severe chemotherapy since the cancer is in such an advanced stage. During his chemotherapy, my husband landed in the hospital three different times, due to losing his immune system. His chemotherapy lasted four months.

We had only been married for six months when he was diagnosed in February, 2007 with cancer. It was rough being a newlywed couple and having to go through this. It made not only a big impact on our sex life, but our marriage as well.

With me being nine years younger than him, I had a high sex drive and still do. I was just about climbing up the walls not having any sex or any sexual attention from him. The thought of cheating never even entered my mind. Even if it did, I would not have done it. The only thing that saved me from going absolutely nuts during that full year of no sex was my sex toy.

My husband later told me that the thought of sex just disgusted him. Since he was operated on near his penis, he told me that he didn’t even have any desire to masturbate either. After he was done with chemotherapy, I kept bugging him about sex for like six months. I said what if your oncologist says it is okay, would you want to then? He said we can ask him and see what he says. The oncologist said whenever you feel like it, that is when you can have sex again. My husband kept on putting it off. Finally, one day I said what if I can get you aroused and hard, would you want to try it? He finally said okay and within minutes I had him aroused, and we were back in action. It was naturally a quickie since it was his first time after his surgery and chemotherapy. He was exhausted afterward.

My mom told me years later that she was amazed that with me being a young bride at the time that I stayed right there with him through his battle with cancer. I said, well it was because I love him.

I think the cancer did make our marriage stronger. He said if it were not for me he would be dead. He never would have gone to the doctor on his own, since he doesn’t like doctors. He told me that no one ever cared for him like I do.

We just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary this year. While we still don’t have as much sex as I would like, I am just glad that he is still here on Earth with me.

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