Boring? Not us!

Posted by MichelecloseAuthor: Michele Name:
Email: puppycoatj@yahoo.com
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About: I’m just Michele, an average married old lady. I run a not-so-successful online business, play heavy metal guitar, write sleazy erotica, and review sex toys for funSee Authors Posts (6)

When you admit that you’ve been with the same partner for 20 years it always seems to awe certain people, and just recently I had someone ask me “How do you stay interested in each other for that long?” I knew that the question actually meant “How do you not get bored bedding the same person for 20 years?” and the answer is that you *do* get bored. Very bored. And then you have to get creative.

It happens in every marriage over time; the honeymoon is over, the sex is routine, you’re tasting vanilla every night but wishing for spice until sex becomes just another chore. Yes it happens, and when it does lots of ugly things can come of it. So the first time I realized that watching David Letterman was more interesting than going to bed with my husband, I knew I had to do something about it. Back in those days I was extremely self-conscious and unable to say what I wanted in the bedroom, so it was easier for me to act on the matter than to try to discuss it even though I knew he had to be feeling the same.

I started out by buying a piece of lingerie to surprise him with, which was really nothing more than a semi-sheer knee-length gown with a bit of lace on it. Looking back, I have to laugh at how un-revealing that gown really was, and how nervous and exposed I felt wearing it. I really didn’t enjoy wearing it at all at first, but my husband’s reaction to it was flattering enough that I knew I was on the right track. He reciprocated a short time later by ditching his traditional white briefs and switching to a bikini style brief for me, which made me realize how much a partner’s clothes could affect the libido. I bought a slinkier set of lingerie after that.

For several months, we had a bit of an ‘underwear war’ with each of us constantly buying something new to surprise the other. I didn’t get really creative until after my 30th birthday though, when husband came in wearing a male G-string and proceeded to dance for me as part of my birthday present. That turned me on so much, I knew I *had* to reciprocate, and thus a short time later I bought a harem outfit. That led to more costumes over time, and we began to dabble in the light-hearted role play that each one inspired. My confidence had grown immensely during all of this, and I’m not sure how or why but somewhere along the way something shifted for me and I started taking these little acts of foreplay outside of the bedroom.

The first time I did it, I was having a “girl’s night out” at a club with some friends when I saw my husband come in with a couple of his own friends. He didn’t notice me at first, and I’d had just enough alcohol-induced courage that night that I went totally out of character. I approached him like he was a stranger, asked him to dance, and the game was on. We spent the evening dancing and flirting with other people as well as each other, and when I’d had enough I went up to him and told him I wanted to take him home with me. I know at that point he believed that I was just saying I would be riding home with him instead of my friends, because he was utterly shocked when we left and I walked him to a nearby hotel instead of the car. Booze makes you bold, so along the way I described what I was going to do to him in quiet words that had both of us squirming. It was one hell of a night, and the beginning of a whole new phase for us.

I’ve arrived as a “county inspector” on some of my husband’s job sites, and inspected everything he had during the lunch hour when all the other workers were gone. I was the “pool girl” who arrived when the neighbors were away and skimmed the waters stark naked, until he grew horny enough to interrupt my work. As a “realtor”, there were several things I had to show him in the posh house that was left open for visitors down the block, particularly the seat on the back patio that I convinced him was specifically for receiving blow jobs.

When my car broke down in the mall’s parking lot, I called my husband to come pick me up then slipped into the sassy outfit I’d bought there before walking to the main road to meet him… I became the sexy hitch hiker who was determined to pay for his services in a very naughty way, and it was hours later before we actually retrieved my car.

Every now and then I go for takeout pizza, and deliver it to our door wearing nothing more than lingerie under a long cloak, which I make sure to leave open in the front once I get to the steps. It can be tricky finding a place between our house and the pizza place where I can pull over and disrobe to such a scanty state, change my hairstyle and apply makeup without being noticed, but it’s worth it. He loves opening the door to a sex-starved pizza delivery girl.

As the years have gone by the scenarios have ranged from light and cliché’ to dark and elaborate, and he never knows when they’re coming. One time I even played a rough-talking hit woman who abducted him from the parking lot after work (with a fake gun in his back, no less) and took him to a secluded area to claim my ‘mark’. I’ll admit that that particular scene could have gone wrong, particularly when I noticed an elder man watching me blindfold my husband before pushing him into the car. For days afterwards I kept expecting the police to knock on my door, and figured my mother would be reading about me in the paper under a headline that read something like “Swat Team Arrests Horny Wife During Foreplay.”

It’s been a long line of adventures over the years, and my husband has repeatedly remarked about how much he enjoys my little antics. I’ve enjoyed them too, but there were times when I wondered what it would be like to be at the receiving end of such play though, to have my partner go to lengths to create an unexpected fantasy for me. And now, finally, I’m finding out. My dish washer broke last week, and when my irritated sweatsuit-clad husband left to retrieve parts from the hardware store, I wasn’t expecting the sharp-dressed sexy-talking “repair man” that returned with a flavored lubricant and just the right ‘tools’ to get the job done. Ah well, who needs a dish washer anyway?

So there you have it. Call us what you will but, after all these years, we’re certainly not bored with each other.