Body Image and BDSM

Posted by Mistress KaycloseAuthor: Mistress Kay Name:
Email: the.mistress.kay@gmail.com
Site: http://kinky-world.net/
About: A young Domme that is adventuring into the world of sex and kink toys. Lives in her apartment with her boyfriend of two years while attending college. Actively involved with her local BDSM communities. Absolutely loves making new friends and learning new things."See Authors Posts (47)

I’ve always been one of those overweight kids. One of those that always wants to talk about how they were left out because of their weight. Well, they only talk about it because it’s true, and mostly because it really is something that most people aren’t aware of.

I grew up looking pretty overweight. While I’ve always held my weight well (You’d never know I was almost three-hundred pounds), it never stopped the other kids from leaving me out of things. About the only time I think I was ever accepted was in fifth grade because my weight had started puberty early for me.

Because of the treatment, I ended up retreating back into myself. I’d check out books at the local library and walk home from school crying because the kids at school had been so mean. They raided my locker and would throw away or scatter my books in the hallway. I tried putting a lock on it – they just hid a boltcutter and took it off. While I was in the middle of an art project, a classmate started spraying whipped cream all over it – it was destroyed.

However, I think the crowning moment in all of this was when some kid had purposely taken the “broken” sign off a chair and placed it at the table. He told me to come sit down with him, and I, believing that someone was taking pity on me that day, did. The chair collapsed under my weight, and I fell to the ground. With my face burning red, I left to the bathroom for the rest of that class period.

All of this continued throughout my school career. After a point, I really did just stop caring. I’d go to school, do what I needed to, and then come back home to actually be able to relax. Going to school became one big mess of trying to avoid the other kids to stay away from their insults. It was a small-town school, and no matter what I’d say, the teachers never believed the kids would do things like that. It didn’t matter that I was the star pupil – they were the biggest jock.

Regardless, I spent high school virtually alone. It was quite a depressing time, and nothing really changed when I got to college. In fact, I felt more alone. The college atmosphere tends to isolate you unless you party. Considering that I gradated at 17, a year early, it was impossible to do much of anything related to partying.

It wasn’t until I found my local campus BDSM group that I really started to fit in. We really were the misfits of the campus. I’d heard people talking about “those weirdos” with whips and chains, but I’d never realized that it was exactly the place I wanted to be.

When I attended my first meeting, I was surprised to see people of all different types. There was a fifty-year-old community member, a national BDSM presenter, plus-sized women, skinny women, clean-cut guys, not-so-clean-cut guys. You want to know what was even more amazing? We all got along. No one was excluded for how they looked. And unless you went against personal boundary rules, it was impossible to be excluded because of personality as well. If this was just the discussion group, I had to know what a play party was like.

Within a month, I was at my first play party. Let me tell you – it’s not what I expected. When I saw these types of things on TV, everyone was beautiful and half-naked. Real-life is so much different. There were women who’d birthed three children happily running around topless. There were barely-legal men fully clothed. The amazing thing was that everyone was comfortable with one another. As it was my first play party, I felt like an outsider, but no one avoided me. Everyone tried to welcome me in, offered to show me their collection of BDSM toys, and encouraged me to make myself comfortable. Everyone was just so comfortable in their own skin, and I loved it. There was no hatred here. There certainly wasn’t any insults to how a person looked. I left that party with a sense of self-confidence that I hadn’t felt all throughout high school.

Since then, I’ve become very active in both of the local BDSM groups. I still continue to be amazed at how accepting the groups are of newcomers. Newcomers are offered spots right next to the most-experienced and spoken to like an equal – not an outsider. Play parties continue to have that level of comfort, and since I’ve started attending BDSM meetings, I do feel like I’ve gained more self-esteem. I love it, and I must say that BDSM communities have become an integral part of who I am today. Why not try them out for yourself?