I am always amazed when my husband says he thinks I’m beautiful. I look at my body and wonder just what it is that he’s been drinking lately because he certainly can’t be seeing the same thing I see.  For instance, I see stretch marks from a pregnancy with twins. I see the bikini cut scar of an emergency C-section. I can’t help but notice several scars from tubes in my body during a month when I was hospitalized. Perhaps the hardest thing for me to deal with is the 9″ scar from an incision that was done for two surgeries.

I look at my breasts and mourn the fact that for years I went braless as much as possible, for now they hang and look horrid. I look at my body and regret all the times I chowed down on chocolate and potato chips now that I am trying to take that excess weight off. I look at my fingers and sometimes cry that I can’t find pretty feminine rings in size 12.

However, my husband looks at me and see things differently. He sees the marks of a woman who bore his two children and suffered through a pregnancy that was high risk for both her and the kids. The bikini cut scar reminds him that I carry with me the reminder of what I went through to have those children for both of us. The marks from the tubes in my abdomen and the 9″ scar remind him that he almost lost me when a gall bladder surgery went bad and over five liters of bile built up in my abdomen and almost poisoned me to death. When he looks at my breasts, he doesn’t see the sags as much as he sees the opportunity to play and have fun. While he knows I’m frustrated with my body shape and size, he never belittles me, but only encourages me to do my best.

I see the flaws – he sees the memories and rejoices in the fact that he still has me in his life.

I think sometimes that we need to look at others much the same way that my husband looks at me. As we see their flaws, we need to look beyond them to the person inside. I think of the woman who has rough dry hands because she’s spent years working to provide for her family. The woman who has a not-so-fashionable haircut because she uses that money to buy her child clothes and food. There are those out there who can’t have a new wardrobe every year or add to their wardrobe, because all of their money is going into supporting a family member or simply meeting the basic needs of life.

Starting with myself, I want to encourage us to look at beauty not as just an outward thing but learn to look at the “flaws” and “scars” that others might have and recognize that some of the most beautiful things do not come simply from looks.