Remember how we headed down to North Carolina about 2 weeks ago? Remember in my last post that I promised lots of photos?

As you probably know, from reading Jenn’s post earlier this week, we went to Type A Mom  last week, in Asheville, North Carolina.

She covered some of the sessions I also attended, so I won’t reiterate those. Honestly, I just want to talk about the way the conference felt, and the images that are still in my mind. Sure, I’ll tell you about the sessions I attended and the Town Hall meeting, but not in this post.

So, when we were planning on going to Type A Mom, just as attendees not as sponsors, I admit to having some reservations – I expected to not really fit in there, to feel awkward at best, and to be stuck in a small town with nothing to do in the downtime after sessions each day. Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I have a tendency to smile at people, to talk to strangers, and to hope for the best – it’s just my nature, and that worked out very well. I smiled, and these ladies, a few men, and a handful of babies smiled back. I talked to them, they talked to me; we related over so many things – ideas, struggles, fears, parenting, art, food, and travel. You name it. We had conversations, long meals spent talking, walks around Asheville, and asides during sessions. I do wish I had taken more photos of people and with people – but we were there to talk, engage and learn, so I did exactly that. It wasn’t about photo-ops with bloggers. I did, however, take tons of photos of Asheville during my walks, and that post is coming soon (I did include some teaser shots here, though!)!

I can’t list everyone here (because it’s a long long list) and yes, Jenn did mention some of these people, but I do want to “shout out” some of the most memorable for me: I loved talking with Chrissy (of http://mamaslittlehelper.org/), Sherry (of http://www.babypop.com/) about all things challenging and loads of ideas. Don’t worry, Sherry, I will totally be following up with you! I loved hearing about Amethyst’s (of http://lifemusiclaughter.blogspot.com/) all women Pirate Crews in Tampa and the awesome fundraising she does. I laughed with Shell (of http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/) as she related stories about her kids, and about what it’s like to upset the family with blog posts (hence her blog name!). I was really affected by energy and warmth of Megan (of http://velveteenmind.com/), when we just struck up a conversation and I loved relating to her about modeling behavior, communicating clearly, and how people over-politicize almost everything. I wish I had more time with her; I am definitely ordering her magazine.

I let the very funny and ever-present Robyn (of http://www.pensieve.me/) photograph pretty much my whole body, for her “Tattoos of Type A Mom’ project – yeah, me being the most tattooed person a Type A – what a shock! Robyn is adorably sassy and sweet. Lisa (of http://www.studiojewel.com/) – one of the sexiest home-schooling jewelry making lady who plays with fire you could imagine kindly gave away handmade jewelry keyrings, set up her wares in the Mom Market, and literally sold the pieces off her neck to other moms. Then there’s one of the most good-humored women I’ve ever met (and we talked at BlogHer too), Kris (of http://www.littletechgirl.com/) – just look at how cute she is in the photo with her friend’s baby. This woman has 2 sets of twins of her own, damn!

I surprised Dave Griner (of http://www.thesocialpath.com/) by mentioning his AdWeek article and we had a long talk about marketing. There was our buddy Jaime who was there for work as part of ShopatHome’s booth, but also blogs at http://www.denimdebutante.com/; we shared many jokes and comments throughout the conference. And my sister from another mister (I am sure) the totally lovable, mildly foulmouthed and completely hilarious-Robin (of http://www.ballstothewallyall.com/)

The moral of this story, for me, is that there is community everywhere – and this community sees us, accepts us, wants to talk to us, to tell us things, and hear our thoughts. We are all just trying to relate, to understand, to be better. Thank you to all of the lovely people we met, or met up with again, for sharing the love!

I think Jenn has done a pretty good job of giving everyone snapshots from our 4 days in NYC – in her articles for EdenCafe: part one is here and part two is here . So I thought it would be cool to tell you what I was thinking from a work perspective – as most of you know, I am the Marketing Director at Eden.

You can see awesome photos on our company Facebook, check it out here.

(and become a fan while you’re over there!)

EdenFantasys seemed like the perfect fit for BlogHer , in my eyes. We are all about community, and openness; we feature so many women’s opinions and stories. I was excited to be working on this. I was full of optimism. So, months ago, I started planning – making sure we had the supplies, the signage, the paperwork, all of it. Brainstorming with our beloved Bloggess on how to have the most awesomely craftacular sex toy party ever. I reached out to our great friends at Doc Johnson, Evolved Novelties, Pipedream, Wet Lubricants, Hathor, System JO, Extase, njoy, Lelo, Jimmyjane, and Bust Magazine to ensure that our panel table would be full of great demos and take-aways, our swag bags would be exciting, and our post-BlogHer prize packs would be stellar. Thank you everyone! I also collaborated on ideas with Anne of ASCNYC.org to fit condom crafts into our party plan. And we were all set. We had a plan!

Day one came upon us quickly, and as Jenn mentioned in her posts, there was a lot of hustling and rushing and coordinating. We handled it, but I worried a bit about everything running smoothly. Thanks to two hardworking Eden staff members, Ilya and Arthur, we pulled off all the loading and setting up. On our first night out at parties, we were very well-received. People had heard of Eden, were SexIs readers, and had found us through the reviews, giveaways, and the Bloggess’s column. My hopes were confirmed – we were definitely a good fit!

Meeting The Bloggess in person, after all the work we have done together in the last year and a half, was wonderful. We hugged and wiggled and squealed.It was perfect. Seeing her every day for those 3 days was great, and is something I could get used to! She even told the ‘SexIs controversy’ story during her ‘Where is the line?” panel, and used working with Eden and SexIs as an example of how to work with good companies who support the writer and care about the relationship. It made me so proud of her – she has a true balance of humor and grace. She had everyone laughing, but it was heartwarming too. And it made me realize just how much our relationship means to her. Then hearing so many women tell us how much they love the site, how they want to work with us, that they love the columns – it made me feel really warm and really proud. Hearing the stories behind their blogs, about their families, about their hopes, made me feel connected and fortunate to be in this place where I could listen and share.

The ‘Bringing Sex Out of the Closet’ panel was a smashing success – the panel was packed, we were swamped, everyone was excited, everyone wanted toys and magazines. It was incredible. They were interested in SexIs, they wanted to play with the Delight, and the Kissa, and the Pure Wand. They smiled and laughed when pushing buttons on the Siri and Iconic Rabbit. We pretty much lost our voices from talking about adult toys so much. What a great moment for this industry! We were embraced! Even now, I am finding dozens of new mentions all over the internet daily – about the table, the swag, the panel, the toys, the magazines. Oooh, and the swag – what a hit! Everyone wanted an Eden tote bag full of swag! I saw them later being carried around during the conference, and I smiled to myself, knowing that we had made many women happy.

Yes, you’ve heard we met the Pioneer Woman, and I got her into the Expo Hall when the security guy was clueless, and she asked about my hair…but, she also asked us for our cards, and she said she reads SexIs Magazine! And did you know that she joked with us about toys? And that when we took the photo with her, she said “Ok, everyone say sex toys!” – that was pretty awesome! Ree also asked about what I do for Eden, and joked that it must be so hard working with sex toys all day. She was wonderful and gracious. I am even more of a fan of The Pioneer Woman now than I was before!

Next was our party – which turned out amazing. We had been inviting people for 2 days, it was also on the Bloggess’ SexIs post and on her blog. People knew, but still, I worried. And we rushed! We did it all DIY – no catering, no services. Just us and Anne of ASCNYC. And we kicked ass. That suite looked great, the crafts areas were fabulous and full of so many things to use, the food was delicious, and the booze was plentiful. The party was so much ridiculous silly fun. It was loud with laughter. It was packed with enthusiasm…and people! Why did I even worry? We had more people than we could fit, I’d say 200 or more came through in under 2 hours. And the photos and video from the party are still making me laugh today. Afterward, we all headed to the Volstead, then onto Sparklecorn. It was an exhausting end to a whirlwind long weekend. Covered in glitter and sweat, and maybe a few sequins, I passed out that night feeling satisfied and excited to have met so many new and wonderful women.

We are definitely doing BlogHer next year – and I have many notes on how to make it even better. I paid attention, I listened, I noticed things. And now I am fully confident that we will make an even bigger impact next year, in a way that is meaningful for everyone we meet, and all of our friends that we hope to see again!

That’s right, Eden is going to BlogHer, all official and stuff.

EdenFantasys is officially sponsoring the only panel about sexuality at BlogHer 2010, and will be taking adult retail into the mainstream spotlight while personally engaging over 2,000 dedicated bloggers at the sold-out conference. Pretty awesome, right?!

BlogHer is one of the most influential blogger platforms online, a veritable powerhouse network of women writing about their experiences and opinions on every conceivable topic. On August 5th – 7th, over 2,400 bloggers will gather in New York City to attend the sixth annual BlogHer conference, being held at The Hilton New York. Building on the momentum of five consecutive sold-out annual conferences, BlogHer ’10 will bring bloggers from every corner of the blogosphere together for hands-on learning, rich discussions, the chance to meet with the brands that support them, and plentiful networking opportunities. It’s all about community at BlogHer, and that’s exactly what makes it a perfect fit for us!

Focusing on community building and setting a new standard for how adult retail can be relatable and approachable are our most core priorities. As we continue to grow our blogger network of writers, product reviewers, and ambassadors, the online conversation becomes more diversified and valuable. No other adult retailer has been able to reach so many people in so many places. We are truly community-based, and that makes all the difference; don’t you agree? So, naturally, we want to meet bloggers face to face and connect!

EdenFantasys.com is proudly sponsoring the only panel at BlogHer ’10 to even approach blogging about sexuality, ‘Bringing sex out of the closet’, being held on Friday, August 6th. Moderated by fabulous New York sex, dating and relationships writer, Twanna Hines aka Funky Brown Chick , this panel will touch on how to have a healthy sex life and how to use the internet to discuss sex and to find resources on sexual health information. Twanna Hines says, on participating at BlogHer, “I’ve spoken at BlogHer previously, and I’m excited about returning this year. It’s a fantastic event with rich discussions about a wide variety of topics affecting women online.” And when asked about the panel and having EdenFantasys as the sponsor, she said “Leading the panel discussion is a real honor for me because it brings together a diverse group of women to talk about the politics of sex in a serious, informative, and thought-provoking manner. I support EdenFantasys’ mission to get a community people together to talk about healthy views about sex. I think it’s great they provide good resources and products, and it seems like a natural sponsor for our panel about sexuality.” Panelists include: AV Flox, who writes at ‘Sex and the 405’; Genia Stevens, who produces ‘Sister Talk Radio’; ‘Mominatrix’ sex advice columnist, Kristen Chase; and Tess Danesi of Urban Gypsy. Takeaways include materials from the panelists and swag bags provided by EdenFantasys.

And, of course we’re having a party! The Bloggess herself will be joining Jenn and I for an awesomely craftactular dildo decorating party (think bright toys, glitter, paint, feathers, sequins, and more) that will include special guests from our friends at ASC , who will be providing condom crafts. This arts, crafts, swag and booze soirée will be on Saturday, August 7th from 6pm – 8pm at our deluxe suite in the Warwick Hotel (across the street from BlogHer) – no RSVP needed, just find us at the panel or one of the parties and get the suite number from us! So excited! Pics to follow, promise!

Special thanks to swag sponsors: Doc Johnson, Evolved Novelties, Hathor, Wet Lubricants, Pipedream, System Jo lubricants, and Eden Fantasys too!

We started bright and early on the second full day of the show, with an early breakfast meeting then onto the show floors for our many meetings. First up was a great meeting with the main men of Fun Factory – lots of amazing news and toys coming from them. Then we headed over to the Doc Johnson booth – their theme was Americana and the booth was decked with new items. Rebecca happily showed us all the new items, including new Ballsy colors and materials, new pocket vibes, new cute animal shaped vibes, a new Sasha Grey glass line, the new Allumination vibes, new Reflections shapes and finishes, and more.

Then it was onto see Kevin and Nick at Pipedream’s booth. Kevin gave us the tour of every wall – from fun stuff to seriously beautiful pieces, like the Icicles glass line, the Wow line, the Wanachis, the La Reve and some great new Fetish Fantasy pieces for both men and women.

We met with the lovely ladies of Vibratex and had great conversation, then we saw some really cute new pocket style vibrators across the hall from Evolved’s booth, from New Sensations… look at the kitty and the octopus! Want! And speaking of Evolved , just wait until you see their new lines – our meeting with them was full of news! Pics soon, I promise.

And then we met with the awesome Tom of Sportsheets ; I took some photos of their shower stall and we looked at their newest additions. Later, Tom even told me the Mexico story and we shared other crazy tales among our group. Rufina and I took a photo with Lavi of Doc Johnson while we were joking with these guys.

We ended the night with dinner, drinking, dancing, and talking once again; this time all together with everyone at the show during the ANME dinner party. Even though we didn’t get to meet with everyone we would have liked to this time, we had so many good long conversations with people from every aspect of the business, passing kind words to other retailers, home party people, distributors, and new manufacturers and old alike. What a great night and a fabulous show!

We headed out to Burbank, California for the annual ANME Founders Show about a week ago. It’s a tradeshow where we go to meet, talk, see new products, and spend some face-to-face time with industry colleagues. Deals are made, new friendships are formed, old friends share stories from their year – it’s pretty great, actually.

So, after getting in pretty late on Saturday and hanging out at the Welcome cocktail party, we got ready for the first day of the show. On our morning agenda was Tantus , and we got to see the new flesh tone toys and harness sets. Awesome! Then it was onto Topco , and yes, people, we did see the Fucked line, and yes, I took photos. The Topco booth was a red and yellow big top style circus tent with a blow-up Joanna Angel doll suspended in the middle.

There were several new lines, from Bordello collector’s style masturbators, military themed toys, the new Cake line of products, the all white Asylum line, the Hardware line, the Fucked toys, and the Vida line.

Next up, was California Exotics (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-community/companies/cal-exotics/). Al and Susan were excited to show us their newest lines. Their luxe booth was packed with new offerings, including the much talked about Vanity by Jopen line which is gorgeous and powerful, and a freezer case with the new Ice line ready to play with and test out.

There are new pieces in the Couture line, a new Inked harness, a new luxury style line call L’Amora that looks great, awesome triple stimulators (a fish and a lizard!), Zen stone-like massagers, and fun new bright pieces in the Shane’s World line.

Later we headed out to more meetings (our days were packed), and we saw the gorgeous new bCurious colors at the bSwish booth while visiting with our buddies there, then I popped into the Ruff Doggie booth to play with whips and paddles, and later stopped in to see the awesome Digital Playground pirate ship in their booth (which Peggy posed in front of for me) and her newest treasure.

Then it was onto Rocks Off to see my pal Leslie and her newest toys. Oh man, the new Boy Toys from Rocks Off look great! And the bullets, including Leslie’s badass bullet sash, are awesome. And there’s something new for the ladies too, with the new Groovy Chick – check out the orange!

And then I popped into System Jo’s huge booth before we had to run on to another meeting, this time with Jimmyjane – to see the all new Form 3 (sorry, no pics allowed!).

We ended the night with a delicious sushi dinner at Katsuya in Hollywood with our friends from Evolved and Zero Tolerance. Then headed over to the party of the night being put on by Storerotica, Evolved, Pipedream and more. We drank, danced, and talked into the night. Lots of laughs and good conversation. It was wonderful and busy day.

My day began early, as I got ready to catch the train to NYC to spend the day with the amazing people at the AIDS Service Center . Once I arrived, we started out having lunch at Japonica, a cute Japanese restaurant on 12^th and University…where we were seated right next to Pete from 30 Rock! His real name is Scott Adsit, and he was super nice; talked with us, took pics and even took our cards.

Afterward, we headed back to ASC HQ and Sharen (ASC’s Executive Director / CEO) gave me the grand tour – wow, that place is huge, and they utilize every foot of their space. They provide testing, counseling, case workers to help clients receive funding and services, supplies for basic needs including food, clothing, hygiene products, training for their peer counselor program, a cyber lab, mental health services, even wellness treatments like acupuncture – I was just amazed! It was really heartwarming to meet everyone and to hear them speak so passionately. Every office or cubicle was bursting with piles of work, family photos and evidence of long days of dedication.

Sharen and I talked through the afternoon about future plans, and then it was time to head over to Pieces for Porno Bingo! The place was packed and host Will Clark was already getting everyone in the mood for fun as he introduced Sharen and ASC. Then co-host, Savanna Samson , a lovely Vivid porn star, took the stage and welcomed everyone – soon the balls started tumbling and the first of many rounds of bingo began.

The basket that Eden supplied looked lovely – I’d picked quite a few awesome toys to tuck inside it, worth over $250 – and many an admirer had stopped to fawn over it.  Anne and Brooke worked the floor selling raffle tickets and bingo cards, we all handed out Eden / ASC coupon cards, and everyone hung on Will and Savanna’s announcement of the next number.  Including our saucy new SexIs columnist, Rachel Kramer Bussel, who is a bit of a bingo fan herself.

After the auction of a pair of Savanna’s sexy heels, a raffle for a sports gear and porno pack, it was time for the big prize… the basket of sex toys from us! It was so great to see the winner jumping up and down screaming with excitement, and her friends crowding around after she claimed her prize, to take a look inside. Very cool! We love to make people happy.

Another few rounds of bingo ended the night on a high note – from just the auction and sales of raffle tickets and bingo cards, $1,000 was raised for ASCNYC ! That is fabulous!

I was so happy for the hardworking people at ASC to have had such a successful and fun night! They will make the most of that money to provide more community services to people who need it the most.

We all said our farewells, took a few photos together and promised we’d all see each other soon at the Safer Sex in the City party – which EdenFantasys is sponsoring, and we’ll have a table there, as well as another big beautiful basket up for grabs!  Thank you to everyone who came out to Porno Bingo and to Will Clark, AB, and Savanna Samson – you’re helping a truly wonderful organization do such important work!

Many people know California Exotics as an adult toy manufacturer. We have a great many of their fun products over at EdenFantasys.com. Cal Exotics would like to do more to connect with their fans and customers, as we have all seen with their active participation in Eden Link . Their latest news is that they’ve now launched a wellness blog .

Gay guys, hookers, AIDS and growing up in the Jersey ‘burbs

Every time I start to write this ‘personal essay’ about AIDS, I get stuck. What is it that stops me? Is it the touchy touchy way I’m expecting that I have to write this? Somewhat. Ya know, cause how dare I write about my own life experiences in my own voice, lest someone be offended. Or is the sheer WTF-ness the truth here might expose about my upbringing? Yeah, that too.

I was raised by hippie fucked-up kinda selfish many-layered parents. I’m not going to talk too much about them – but you should know that I did not have a conventional childhood. So, I’m nearly 33 years old – and as a kid in the 80’s, I heard all kinds of crazy myths about AIDS when it first hit the news. Everything from ‘it’s a disease that came from a man having sex with a monkey’ to ‘the government created it in a special lab to kill off gay people’. Yeah. I was like 7 years old. That was awesome for not confusing the shit out of me.

What’s more is my parents had two friends that both found out they were HIV positive during my childhood – and we knew them before and during their fight with AIDS. One was Ted, a friend of both of my parents but very close to my mother – he was always at our house. He was the first openly gay guy I knew; he talked to me about his life and his past – nothing was off limits with Ted. He was a big guy with a permed mess of frosted curls and a booming voice. The other was Wendy, a friend of my mom’s as well, who was very upfront about her past too – she’d been a prostitute in Baltimore for about a decade before moving to our town in New Jersey. Wendy referred to herself as a ‘reformed hooker’ (tongue firmly in cheek), which left me stunned as a kid. She and her young son moved in with a man who had been one of her regulars. Wendy was no bullshit, bitingly sarcastic and never minced words. By the time I was 10, I knew a lot more than my classmates. I look back now and realize that some people just don’t know how to talk to kids, or when to wait until a kid is out of earshot.

Wendy found out in the worst way – she’d had a miscarriage and was told in a horrible sneer by the attending physician while she was still in the hospital after undergoing curettage. She came over to talk to my mom a few weeks afterward, and I heard her tell the story. She was more angry than anything. I was impressed by that – by her indignation. Wendy said she was not going to live her life in fear of dying. She enrolled in community college with my mom that fall.

Ted had told me of his crazy younger days in the Florida Keys, how he’d had a lot of unprotected sex and done a lot of drugs. His stories about orgies and cruising and quaaludes gave me a very colorful picture of the gay male lifestyle – it took a few stupid assumptions and awkward comments to my mom’s brother, my Uncle Eliot, to realize that not all gay men are such partiers. I mean, first, I assumed that Ted and Uncle Eliot would be immediate friends because they were both gay. Then I thought they might even know some of the same people – and had Uncle Eliot ever been to the Keys? Oh man, talk about embarrassing – but since I was about 11 years old, luckily no one took offense.

By the time I was a teenager, Ted had been putting off getting tested for a couple years. He had good reason to be scared – and I heard my mom talk him through it many times. Ted got tested for the first time when I was about 13. It came back negative – although I remember for the 2 weeks that it took for him to get the results, he was sure it was positive. The second test was negative too. So I thought it was all clear – no more worries. Then Ted told me he had to get tested every 6 months, because it could take time to show up in the results. This sounded like nonsense to me. I liked that Ted seemed calm, that he was himself – making raunchy jokes about my guy friends and laughing at how much my parents hated my music. I figured things would never change.

A few years passed and one day I came home from school to find my mom and Ted sitting in the kitchen like they always did, but they were both crying. My mom looked up and told me to go to my room. My first thought wasn’t AIDS. It was ‘oh shit, something must have happened to my dad’. My little brother and sister got home shortly after I did, and my mom couldn’t make us all stay in our rooms – so Ted said he’d be back later. I caught him on the way out and hugged him – still not knowing. I was nauseous with anxiety. My mom got my younger siblings settled and once she was alone, I asked what was going on. She didn’t want to tell me, but she spat the words out as she surrendered to sobbing again. I was horrified. I asked her what would happen, how much time did Ted have, what could we do? She just kept saying ‘I don’t know’.

Later, I began to understand that low T-cells meant danger, that Wendy and Ted couldn’t come over if any of us were sick when their T-cells were low. Wendy’s seemed to always be too low. She often looked really sick – where Ted looked fine. Wendy actually started going to a tanning salon and I would joke with her that she was a sweet potato because of how orange she got from being a bit too zealous over her tanning visits. Ted never seemed sick – so after the first few months of sadness, it was like we all relaxed and it was no longer lingering over everything.

I moved away at 17, to Philadelphia. And for the first few years, my visits back home were few and far between – every few months, for a day or so. I never saw Wendy again after moving out. My mom told me over the phone that Wendy died after sustaining injuries in a car accident – she just couldn’t heal and fight off infection. She wasn’t even 40 and her son was barely a teenager. I think Wendy would hate to be remembered a tragic figure – she just wasn’t like that. She was just a woman trying to live the rest of her life on her own terms, not knowing it would be so short.

One Christmas at my mom’s house, when I was 19, Ted came over and I was just shocked. He was so much thinner – he looked so different, sickly. It really shook me. He took no notice of my surprise. He was just happy to see me, to ask me about my life, to chide me on my hair, piercings and tattoos – to laugh at my mom when she grumbled about it. Some things never change. I kept wanting to ask questions about his health but I didn’t. My mom filled me in a little before I headed home. It wasn’t good. He was having liver problems.

I didn’t see Ted again for a few years, until the night I drove down to tell my mom that I was pregnant. She always kept him up to date about me, and likewise. So it was like we’d been in touch, sort of. I had come unannounced, so we hung out a bit. I was nervous and in no hurry to share my news. Normally my mom drove Ted home, but I offered to take him this time. Once we got in the car, he asked if everything was ok – and I told him the truth. It was good to say it out loud, to someone other than the one friend I’d told. I was so overwhelmed, and he made me feel better. By the time I got back to my mom’s house, I was ready to talk. And my mom wasn’t upset – a little concerned about things like health insurance and money but not mad at all.

I only saw Ted once more after that. A year or so later, I walked in with my infant daughter in my arms – and there he was in the kitchen with my mom. He was even more gaunt than before. My mom had been keeping me posted – he was turned down for a liver transplant. Ted had been in pain and the liver failure was worsening. I didn’t know what to say – what can you say? He seemed so happy that we were there – and I lightened up a little once we got to talking. But it lingered. I felt so guilty for being happy and healthy. I felt bad talking about things in my life. Ted died that year, emaciated and in a hospital. He was only 36. My mom was so devastated. Losing him was hard for all of us – he was part of our family.

Ted was always around when I was growing up, he came on trips with us a few times, he helped keep my mom sane during her break up with my dad, he gave me terrible but funny relationship advice, he made me feel really beautiful and special when he’d embarrass me with compliments, he’d play Boggle with me during my bouts of insomnia, he loaned me great books and listened to me complain through my growing pains. He told me about his own relationship troubles, he’d rant about family and politics, he’d always make me laugh. Ted didn’t deserve to suffer. It’s been over 10 years since he died. I still think of him often and wish I had more time with him.