For those couples that don’t know what to do with themselves after sex, have no fear. I have put together an ‘After Sex Survival Guide’ to help you through. Just as some people can’t find common ground with another person unless they are inebriated, some couples find they have most in common in the bedroom but feel awkward outside. There are so many things you can do to break the ice. But how do you know which thing to go with? What if you don’t feel up to doing much? That is ok. Just know that others feel the same way that you do, and here are some suggestions that are the most popular you can steal from.

First thing is first. Take your turns in the bathroom. You may feel the urge to pee and maybe clean up a bit. So don’t hold back. Take your couple minutes of privacy. Now, are you tired, like you can’t go on? Maybe you were tired before the sex and now you are just wasted. That’s ok! Give your partner that nice satisfied grin and one last kiss, and I am sure they will not bug you anymore. That look of satisfaction will make them think they did a great job, and they will want you to go to sleep so you can have those fantasy filled dreams they always hope you have.

Maybe you are not so tired anymore, though. What then? How about some food? Sex can be a very vigorous activity and your body may need nourishment afterwards. Grab some cereal, a bowl of icecream, or you can share some brownies! Whatever your fancy is, you can make your partner and yourself a nice snack. It will most likely be well accepted and make you feel good.

What about a bubble bath or a hot steamy shower? This could be very relaxing for you and your partner to do together or alone. Fill her up and sink down low. No one said that pampering yourself was out!

Maybe you both like a certain show, or can at least find a movie you both would enjoy. If you made a snack, grab it and find the couch. You don’t need to talk much to each other if your favorite show is cracking you up instead. So, no worries about trying to find anything to say. Especially if it was an “off” night.

Maybe it isn’t night. Maybe it is during lunch hour at work, and you went home real quick to say hello to your partner! Well then, your partner probably knows you have just an hour. So do your quick freshen up, and if you have time to spare but need to go, say that traffic was heavy and you don’t want to be late. Then stop by your favorite coffee shop and grab a quick beverage before returning to work.

Maybe you are a reader or a gamer. You don’t need to feel compelled to look into each others eyes and strengthen the bond by swapping secrets. If you are comfortable enough to use the bathroom, grab a bite to eat, and pass out… then I would say you will be just fine and it is time for you pass this survival guide on.

A little game. That’s how it started. A small purchase with big rewards. I have been married for six years now and we have three kids. Our spontaneity in our marriage has evolved into choosing a movie or picking up a new game for the wii. I know you can’t just pack up and go across country when you have kids. But why does the romance choose to do so? Thinking about this, I bought a game designed for this purpose and then stumbled upon a book that really shined a light on the subject. What can you do when you don’t have the option for a babysitter or you can’t get around?

Well first of all you don’t need to leave the house to give it a different feel and keep it fresh. I know it may seem pretty unlikely that you two won’t go crazy, but a transformation isn’t hard to do. Depending on what you two like, make the bedroom like walking into a different world, or decorate the kitchen like a coffee shop. It would be quite easy to change your bathroom into a tropical paradise. I live right by a stream where these nice tropical looking ferns grow. I could very easily go grab some and attach them around the tub. Add a couple candles with a few shells and pebbles. Maybe even top it off with a couple messages in a bottle floating around for him to find. How about setting up a tent of sheer fabric and laying pillows around the inside. Grab a belly dancing costume or a colorful saree and have a meal in bowls on the floor. Then, even in the dead of winter, you can whisk them away to a different scene.

This could be an either or question, but ladies I’m going to ask you this. How often do you tell your partner that you love them, or if you do, how often do you remind them why? My husband is better at this than I am actually, and it makes me feel bad that I am not as vocal to him about things like that. I show him by doing things, but sometimes he needs to hear it too. So while he was off relaxing in the ‘kings room’ aka the bathroom, I set up a romantic dinner for two. There was the usual table setting with a candle in the center, music in the background, and one of his favorite meals. However, there were also these nicely folded papers that could be found all over the table and counters. Each one had something that I loved about him written on the inside. Think of things that are not obvious. Little things seem to be the most touching sometimes. I could tell him that he is really sweet, or that he is a hard worker, but telling him that I love when he is over tired because his sense of humor is explosive, is more personal.

How often do we let the inner childlike self come out to play? I mean, we used to be playful. Mini golf, water parks and what not. We still do it for the kids, but those times were fun for just us as well, and it was an opportunity to let ourselves relax and just kid around. If it’s warm out, grab some squirt guns and turn on the heat with a manhunt that hands out romantic prizes. Or make a bean bag toss with different activities, and see what his aim and determination gets him. Everybody wins.

Keeping the romance alive, for my husband and I, is what also keeps us excited to be with each other, and instills a little mystery now and then. If you can’t seem to let your imagination take control, grab one of those games, or look around for ideas on the web. I started to get obsessed with coming up with different ideas, and let’s just say I have quite a few to keep me going right now. I get the satisfaction of making this “foofy girly stuff” fun for him as well!

I realize I may be treading on shaky ground taking on this subject, but I feel compelled to write it since I have been approaching this subject quite often with my husband lately. In a world where sexual orientation is publicly displayed and embraced no matter what it may be, religious views on these matters are usually immediately ridiculed and labeled. It is a beautiful thing that everyone can accept everyone for who they are, but this is a false impression in my mind. Everyone is not accepted when judgments are made upon the ones with unpopular beliefs.

When religious ones speak out against something they find immoral, they are judgmental. But it seems that it is perfectly acceptable to have a religion (which to many, is a lifestyle) judged on. I guess it all depends on if we look at this from the doctrine side of things, or where a person lies if they were true to themselves.

I was brought up in a Christian home, and I believe in the God of the Bible. This does not mean I think sex is disgusting or that I harbor hatred for people that do not believe the same as I do. I do not point fingers and ridicule, but I do not lie about it when asked either. No matter what your religion may be, how can it not affect your sex life?

Sex is not hidden in the Bible. It talks about it quite a bit. You cannot simply read a text and call it on how it sounds. Sometimes passages are referring to past situations, or may be a law man had and was not from God. Sex is definitely more then just for reproductive purposes and should not be looked at as shameful. Instead, it should be treated as the special gift that was given, but respected as well. For my husband and I, it simply draws some lines that we do not cross, and simply put, we wouldn’t have crossed them any way.

I don’t fully support where religion is going, and unfortunately there are always the worst examples that have a spotlight shined on them to further endanger the freedom of religious practice. I struggle with issues all the time and make mistakes daily. I most certainly have felt complexed about certain acts that may or may not be honorable in sex. I have felt hypocritical expressions I’ve had, or trying new things and have experienced guilt on a few different occasions. I had a partner before my husband, and I believe sex should wait until marriage and should only be shared with that one person ever. There are many non-religious beliefs that can help support this for me as well. I do not feel guilty about exploring new ways on showing my husband how much I love him and vice versa. I feel guilty about discussing it with others, at times, because I do believe discretion is admirable and shows respect. However, I am guilty of this also, I have never claimed to be “holy.”

Does religion affect my sex life? Absolutely. But I have never felt hindered by what others have called rules. Just like a child that feels good when they do what is expected, I appreciate having some boundaries and love that my husband feels the same way. This, in no way, is to make anyone feel looked down on, and I hope that I can be heard without that in return. How does your religion affect your sex life?