It seems like some people are still shocked and don’t believe it when they find out that many women watch porn on their own. Just a few days ago, a male friend of mine posted a Youtube video on Facebook of girls saying they watch porn and how much they like it. My friend thought the whole video was a gag and didn’t know that any women would watch porn without a male partner making them. Girls even commented on his post saying that they don’t watch porn, enforcing his belief that girls are essentially “porn haters”. Maybe there are other girls that saw his post that are just too shy to reply, but then again, maybe there are still a lot of women who don’t like porn. I was the only girl on his Facebook that confirmed that video was true, not outright saying I watch porn (I hinted, just didn’t want to make it obvious), but saying yes, girls like to watch people get fucked. This video is definitely not a joke!

There are so many studies that even say there is a rising number of women who watch porn! There is so much porn on the market that is specifically made with women in mind. A lot of the stuff aimed at women seems to be sensual porn, maybe videos with a storyline, as well. I can totally understand that. It’s really nice when you feel like you’re a part of the video, rather than just watching a couple of random people have sex. One article I read on this matter said that some women might like lesbian porn because a lot of it is slower and romantic, and involves a lot of just kissing and touching. A Cosmo magazine recently said they found a study that states women get off on seeing male on male romances, so maybe more women are watching gay male porn also!

As for me, I personally don’t really go towards the mainstream stuff that is focused towards women viewers. I like a lot of it, but it’s not my first choice most days. This really shocked my boyfriend, and at first he was hesitant about the kind of stuff I like to watch. He’s a simple guy and mostly likes to watch amateur videos, and blowjob videos, and hardly wanders into anything rougher than a girl getting hit in the face with a penis. My boyfriend saw my bookmarked pages of porn, and didn’t realize I’d like to watch gangbangs and videos where the girls are referred to as whores. It took him a little while, but he eventually accepted it as part of me, and when he comes across a video he thinks I’d like he sends it to me. It’s pretty sweet actually. When we watch porn together, we usually compromise. Sometimes we watch stuff of his choice, and sometimes it’s my choice. Overall, it works out pretty well, although I don’t think he’s particularly paying attention to the porn when it’s all anal sex or ass to mouth, or something else he doesn’t like.

I like a little bit of everything I can think of when it comes to porn, but mostly rough stuff. I’m just into that kind of thing, and nobody would ever really guess it. I like rough sex in real life, and I love to watch a girl get tossed around and face fucked. I love straight and lesbian porn; I love girls and guys, threesomes, roleplaying. You name it, I probably like some of it.

I know there are a ton of places to get free porn from the internet, but since I started becoming more interested in porn stars, to where I read their blogs even (sometimes they have free clips of their videos or pictures!), I like to buy a lot of videos and online subscriptions when I can. I still do have my favorite videos online, but I try to support the porn stars.

Whenever I’ve told female friends that I like porn, most have thought I was crazy. They don’t watch porn, and a lot of them don’t like their boyfriend’s watching porn either. I guess they just don’t understand what it does for me, and that’s why I get funny looks if I mention my love of porn. I’m not sure what all of their reasons are for not wanting to try to watch porn, but I’m sure if they tried it then some of them would like it. Maybe some of these girls I talk to are too shy to talk about it, or are afraid they’d like porn! I met one girl who said she enjoys watching it, just never has a chance so she reads erotica pretty often. I think that’s great. Women should explore their sexuality and try new things! It is so much more socially acceptable now for girls to watch porn or to want to masturbate. It may not be something everyone talks about, but it’s surely happening everywhere we look.

They say most men are visual and need to see something to get off. Women are thought of as the opposite, and that may be true for some. Tons of women (as well as lots of men) can get off with just images in their mind or a nice erotic story. But even if a lot of women aren’t naturally visual creatures, it definitely doesn’t hurt to be watching something, and can really make sex and masturbation a lot more fun.

I’ve always admired people that have open relationships. To be THAT trusting of your significant other to be honest with you and not to leave you for someone else, or to not care if they do. And then there’s the idea of being able to be with someone else, or knowing your partner is happy being with other people. Just the whole situation sounds like a win-win. It’s always something I’ve contemplated doing if I found the right person that felt the same.

Well, I found the right person that I trust to tell me the things I want to know, and that I would feel comfortable with letting them be with other people. But he doesn’t feel the same, entirely. He trusts me, but doesn’t feel comfortable with me being with other men, only women. Lucky for him, I’m bisexual and would love to be with women also, but the whole situation doesn’t exactly seem fair. So, we’ve gone this year and a half in a monogamous relationship, which is fine with both of us.

He decided he didn’t care if I was with other women, he says that women just aren’t “threatening” to him. That’s funny, because I generally prefer girls over guys. I have yet to find a girl to just be friends with benefits with. A lot seem to be put off by the fact that I have a boyfriend, which I completely understand. If I was looking for a relationship, I definitely wouldn’t want to just go fool around with
someone that was in a relationship, and I had zero chance of ever getting serious with.

Something happened, just a while ago though that completely changed everything for me in the best way possible. I started talking to a girl that I’ve known for years, but have never been too close to. She’s been pretty good friends with my boyfriend, and she told my boyfriend that she thinks I’m really attractive. After that, she and I started talking. We never did hang out, only texted a lot. We even exchanged nude pictures. It was a lot of fun talking to a girl sexually, and really excited me. My boyfriend didn’t care that I was doing that, and he supported it. He saw how happy it made me.

After a while, my boyfriend started pushing me to be in a relationship with her, which I would be totally fine with, just didn’t know if she felt the same. And there was another problem: She was married. I figured that would make it impossible for her and I to ever be together. But I guess her husband knew of all of our picture exchanges and how flirty we were with each other, and he supported it also. I guess on her end, her husband was pushing her to be in a relationship with me, as well. I was too shy to mention any of it, so I had my boyfriend talk to her for me about being together, and we somehow ended up like that. Two girls, both in relationships with other men, are in a relationship with each other. It seemed so different to me, and I was so happy to be able to be with her.

Her and I spent a lot of time together. I saw her more than my boyfriend for a while, which he was fine with. And her husband lived across the country temporarily, so that was no problem. We had a lot of fun, going out, we met each other’s families, spending the night together. Every night we spent together, though, she was too shy to ever do anything with me. I was fine with that, though. I didn’t want to push her or make her uncomfortable. This was something new for both of us. Some of our friends thought it was so weird and wrong, but most supported it and saw how much happier we both were being together. This was truly an amazing experience, but unfortunately it didn’t last too long.

When her husband moved back, he had been betraying her and lying to her, and his excuse was he thought she was going to leave him for me. He didn’t want her with me anymore. So, things ended right then for us. I was so heartbroken, it was terrible. I haven’t been through a break up in so long, and this seemed almost harder to go through than past break ups. She and I really wanted to stay friends though, and we are. She never makes time to see me, and we haven’t hung out since before the break up. Her husband and she eventually split because of all the problems they were having, and I thought that might mean she could be with me again. I really got my hopes up, but she gave a lot of different excuses as to why not to my boyfriend and I separately. I guess she just really didn’t want to be with me while I have someone else, when she doesn’t have somebody else.

I guess it is what it is, and I had fun while it lasted. I really wish her and I could be better friends though. We were great together. I would still love to be in a relationship with another girl, even a three way relationship with another girl and my boyfriend. That’s something we’ve talked about a lot, but have never met a girl that was okay with it. So I guess only time will tell what happens next with me, and for now, I’m just another monogamous girl hoping another open minded girl comes along.

Getting tested for HIV was one of the scariest things I have ever done, as I imagine it is for a lot of other people. It was so hard to just go in and get it done, but it was one of those things I didn’t want to procrastinate on any longer. Being tested for HIV and STD’s is something that everybody should get done, probably more often than most people do.

Around the time that I was going in to be tested, none of my friends had ever been tested, which made me even more nervous. I was young and going to be the only one that could say whether or not I had any diseases. Being tested was definitely not on my list of things I WANTED to happen, especially because it would separate me from my friends. (Maybe they would think that I was really slutty, or perhaps that I thought I had an STD and spread rumors?) But, I knew it had to be done and for a while I didn’t tell anybody about it. When I finally did, it turned out I wasn’t an outcast for it, and that some of my friends really wanted to be tested for HIV and other STD’s but were too afraid to. I was able to tell them that it really wasn’t so bad, and that it’s something that really needs to be done and better sooner than later.

I know since then, some of my friends have been tested, more than once even. I’m glad that my taking the leap and getting tested gave them the push and courage to do the same. I know one of my friends had a treatable STD she didn’t even know about, and I don’t know how much longer it would’ve taken her to get tested if I hadn’t told her it wasn’t so scary, and she could get it done for free at Planned Parenthood. I definitely feel better about myself knowing that I helped her in some strange way.

Going in to be tested though… One of the things that made me so nervous was that I had unprotected sex with more than one person, and I really didn’t know all of my partners’ sexual histories. I was so afraid that I could have somehow gotten a disease and not known it, since I never bothered to ask anyyone. Now, I always make sure to ask about STD’s before anything sexual happens with anyone, after that feeling of being unsure. I’m with my guy now, so I’m not worried anymore, unless I find a female partner.

What scared me the most was actually thinking that I could have an STD or HIV. It was doubtful, but it was possible. And I’m really paranoid about everything, so I automatically thought I probably had something. What would I do if I had an STD? Would it be curable? What about if I had HIV/AIDS? I felt so ashamed to actually worry about these things, and I felt like I was such a bad person. Thinking overall, about some of my friends, and some people I read about, I’m not the only one that has had an experimental past and been with more than one person. I really felt alone for a while, and I know now, that I’m not. I hate that I wasn’t sure that I was HIV and STD free, but many people have that scare.

The actual test wasn’t as frightening as I had imagined. The doctor was so, so nice to me. I was a nervous wreck, but it all went really well. They drew so much blood from me for that test, and even more for another test I was having that day. Luckily that kind of stuff doesn’t bother me, so I stayed as calm as I could. After the test, though, I was so anxious to get a call saying the results. I kept telling myself that I was probably clean, but then a little thought would creep into my mind, that maybe I’m not. I just hoped that if I did have an STD it was a curable one, and that my reproductive system wasn’t harmed.

I ended up never getting the call from the doctor. I didn’t know exactly how long the results were supposed to take to come back, but I had to go to the doctor for some reason a while later. This was it, the time I would find out if I had a disease. I asked the doctor about it, they pulled up the results. I was so relieved and felt so lucky when they said I was clean. I decided from then on to never have unprotected sex again (unless it was with a monogamous partner). I haven’t kept that promise exactly, but I am more careful about everything, and haven’t done anything with anybody I don’t know and don’t trust. I have definitely learned my lesson after the scare I had of not knowing if I had a disease. I encourage everyone to be tested, even if they haven’t been with many people, and I’m not so scared to go in myself anymore.

Am I proud to be bisexual? Heck yes I am. Have I been put down for it? Yeah, unfortunately. I wish the world would come around and accept everyone for who they are. We are ALL different! And that’s what makes all of us so great. Size, shape, race, sexuality; everything about us shouldn’t define us, and there shouldn’t any cookie cutter of what we’re supposed to be.

I think gay marriage is a great thing, and I know many other open minded people do as well. I know if I found a girl that I was super serious about I would love to be married to the same sex! And I love that many same sex couples have been able to have a wedding and be legally married. I just wish this concept was more widely accepted, and that all states would legalize gay marriage. Unfortunately, the world just isn’t ready for that yet.

I feel that in the workplace, you should be able to express who you are. Some employers discriminate against race and sex, but more do against sexual orientation. I know someone who is very openly gay, and they have not gotten a couple jobs that they are more than qualified for, and our best guess is it was because of homophobia.

I hate how so many LBGQT are always labeled and put down. Just because our sexuality is different than some others, doesn’t make us any different. I have been called “that gay girl” by some, and I’ve been put down and hurt because I’m not the same as everyone else. And as if that’s not enough, I’ve been told by others that I’m not gay because of many reasons. I just can’t win!

I can’t stand it when people are so judgmental. Yes, everyone has their rights to their own opinions. I love that we all think different things! But there’s no reason for someone to be so caught up in what they think is right that they have to mentally or physically hurt someone else because they’re different. Hate crimes make me so sad. I don’t understand why some people have to go through such hell and bullying.

Even in school, kids are made fun of! In high school I knew a gay boy, but he was in the closet except to his closest friends for fear of being bullied. Once he went off to college, he opened up and was so happy! I wish everyone could express who they are and what they like without others putting them down.

I love the gay pride celebrations throughout the country. I attend two in my area every year, and they make me so happy to be part of the gay community. Everyone celebrates who they are, and there’s no fear of being put down! There are rainbows everywhere, parades, and everyone seems so happy to be who they are. That’s the feeling that we should always have. We shouldn’t have to be afraid of discrimination. We shouldn’t have to worry what others will think. And we sure as hell shouldn’t be hurt for who we are. I wish that everybody in the LBGQT community could always live worry free and have the same rights as everyone else.

My relationship has been one big rollercoaster. I’ve been in crazy relationships before, but this just doesn’t compare. We’ve had major ups and downs and such hurtful things happen, I never thought we’d make it through. I’ve had my doubts, but after going through so much, I finally realized it’s not so hard and really worth it to put in the effort to make my relationship last.

We are a great couple most of the time, and we have so much fun together. Sure, we’re both stubborn, and we bicker a lot, but that happens to every couple. On the surface we seem like we’re perfect. But then there’s one side no one ever saw.

After he lied to me, things went downhill in our seemingly perfect relationship. I got a little more wary of who he talked to, and he got defensive and jealous of who I talked to. We both started questioning each other constantly. We’d both get pissed if the other was jealous of something, because it seemed like we didn’t trust each other. In the beginning of our relationship, we had this great understanding that we’d both find other people attractive, and it’s no big deal because we’re only with each other. But now that all was changed.

Once night while drinking, I was talking to a friend about a guy she likes. I agreed with her that he’s cute, and after I said that my boyfriend poured part of his drink on me. I ignored it and kept talking to my friend, but this continued throughout the entire conversation. My boyfriend was far too jealous and was becoming manipulative. I ended up being crazy after that, and being more jealous than was reasonable, because I thought he was just hiding something. This made him completely annoyed, and we contemplated breaking up, a lot. I’d ask him why he’s with me, and he answered because it’s convenient. I asked him if he wanted to be with me, and he said he didn’t care.

He wrote out the pros and cons of being with me and the cons outweighed the pros. We both felt like our relationship wasn’t going to work anymore. We ended up fighting about a month later and breaking up. He did a lot of stupid things in that time that made me never want to be with him, but I somehow forgave him. We still talked every day through texting or instant messages. After about a week, he promised things would be better, so I took him back. A week after that, things were back to normal. This process continued a couple more times, and finally I was sick of it and told him I’d had enough. I didn’t want to be in an on-again off-again relationship. He asked me to come see him that night just to finalize it in person. That was the hard part. I fell for his promises though and took him back again after a long talk. This time he really realized that I wouldn’t deal with any more of his crap, and he needed to shape up, or else I’d really leave him.

Since then, he’s taken initiative to fix many of his problems, such as having surgery to fix his chronic pain that always made him angry, and his depression. He tries to let our fights go, and he really tries to please me. There’s such a difference with him. He doesn’t have his angry outbursts anymore, and he’s not controlling now.

I’ve been afraid all of that would come back even though he’s obviously improved. I don’t have a bright outlook that people can change. Every time we fought for a while, I would suggest us breaking up. Now it seemed like I was the bad guy. I was just trying to run away before things ever got as bad as they were before. He pointed that out to me not long ago. Since then, I’ve been putting in the effort, just as he has, to make our relationship really work. I still have my days of wanting to run, in case we get to such a low point again, and he still gets angry or annoyed with me over little things. But we both are learning to let our fights go and to help each other out more. He’s helped me so much to understand that things are really going to be okay, and breaking up isn’t the solution to every problem.

We have started to do little things for each other that we stopped doing at some point in our relationship. We buy each other little things; we try to be more spontaneous. We do a lot more “coupley” things now. Since we first started having our downfall, we stopped doing anything together, but we’re both so happy now that we have fun together. I try to dress up for him more often now. He had stopped seeming to care when I tried to look nice for him, so I stopped doing that for him. But I now know he really likes it. We’ve started looking more like that great couple.

With how bad we were, I really never thought we’d be this happy together again. Though it was his behavior that really started it all, we are both at fault. I was rude and annoying to him, and I had a hard time letting fights go. Even after things changed, I was still distant. We would never have gotten so much better if he hadn’t made such an effort in the end. Things were so out of hand for us, but we’re okay now. Neither of us are crazy jealous anymore, and we trust each other so much.
The work we put into this is a day by day struggle. We try so hard to make this work and we both hope it does. If either of us gets down about us, we just remind each other that we can make it through anything and this relationship is worth it. I don’t know if this is going to last, but I sure hope it does. We’ve re-lit that spark, and I plan to keep it going now.

I’ve always been very open sexually; I’ll say what I want and I’ll try new things. But one place I had never explored or known much about: sex toys. I had always wondered, and I had seen them online, but I was always afraid to use them and afraid someone would find them.

On my eighteenth birthday, I went into a sex toy shop for the first time, and I was overwhelmed by everything there was out there. There was a wall of vibrators, which I thought was insane at the time. And the beautiful glass toys that were sitting out. Well I was sure they were for display only and never dreamed I might one day be the owner of some and actually use them!

I went into sex stores with my friends a couple times just for fun. I was fascinated by everything and pointed out a cute, little, vibrating, keychain flashlight to a friend. She thought it was cute too and insisted she buy us both one. I didn’t know if I should use it or not, and ended up just keeping it in my purse and never even putting a battery in it. Now that I look back on it, I wish I had, so my mind could have opened up to sex toys at an earlier age.

My boyfriend, whom I’ve known for half my life, started asking me about sex toys when we first got together. I had told him I never used any, and while curious, didn’t have any motivation to try them. He said he had bought his ex-girlfriend a vibrator and she loved it, and I should get one too. I was skeptical, but eventually let him take me into a sex store. While in there, I picked out the least intimidating toy I could find- a little finger vibrator. It was cute and purple and didn’t look scary like all the other toys in there. I was nervous when the cashier rang us up, and once I was home I kept procrastinating using it.

My boyfriend asked me where it was one day, and I told him. He got it out and showed me that the vibrations are nice, and then he got me off with it. I was amazed at how nice the vibrations felt and how quickly I got off. That got me hooked on it. After that night, I used that thing as much as I could. My boyfriend bought me a lot of the little watch batteries it took, and I was in love. He eventually started pushing a big vibrator on me. I was afraid of inserting anything that wasn’t a tampon! I kept saying no to him, and giving all the excuses I could think of.

Months later I finally started to consider the option of a bigger vibrator. I looked at all my options online and found out there are a lot of cute ones that aren’t intimidating in the least. I pointed out what kind I liked to my boyfriend, and he got me one. I liked it best when I used it with him; it made me feel so close to him, since he’s the one that pushed me to get it. Quite a while later, I started considering getting more vibrators, or even anal toys. I think my boyfriend was shocked that I would consider getting more. HE was the intimidated one now.

I found Edenfantasys.com, and learned a lot about sex toys. Everything from the safety of the materials to what different toys can be used for. Buying toys from Edenfantasys was perfect for me when I was still nervous about it. Everything is discreet, and I can find out everything I want about the toy before I buy it. I’ve started quite the collection of toys since first finding Eden, and it’s still growing. My boyfriend was wary of the amount of toys I was accumulating, but grew to realize that I still want him no matter what, and it’s hard to believe I was ever scared of toys now.

Average. That’s the only way I can think to call myself since my mid-teens. Some consider me a big girl, and some people call me tiny. There seems to be no set label for my body type. I never know how to classify myself, and have always felt like I needed to. I have always seemed to have some kind of body insecurity that I think stems from that, there being three major ones since I was a teen.

My youngest insecurity was height. I was taller and thinner than most girls in middle school. I truly thought I was going to grow up and stay that way. Tall and thin was my mindset of beauty, and I have a sibling that is really tall, so I was sure I would grow up to be like that. Sometime in early high school though, all the other girls started to grow too. Pretty soon I was among the shortest girls my age, and that continued into adulthood. I hated that about myself then, and while most girls worried about being fat, at the time, I worried about being short. I tried to wear heels but have never been able to walk well in them. As I got a lot older and dated really tall guys, I found out that short is actually really cute and embraced being petite.

As I grew up, my hips grew pretty large and my waist stayed tiny. I have small shoulders, and my arms definitely have some jiggle. I have a small bust but big thighs and butt. A lot of people have found my somewhat hour glass figure (but with smaller boobs) sexy. But other people call me big because of my hips and thighs and butt. For a while some people close to me would make jokes about my “big ass”. I knew I didn’t have a tiny ass, but they were joking so it was never a big deal. After some time they admitted that I have a huge ass, and they were never actually joking. Since then, I really don’t know what to believe. I exercise semi-regularly. No matter how much I do, my proportions stay the same. It’s just the way I’m built, I guess.

I still don’t really know what to call myself, big or small. I hate it when I’m with a group of people and one person calls me tiny because of my boobs and waist, and someone else disagrees because of my hips. I haven’t overcome this insecurity, but I’m trying to accept my body more and not care what others think so much.

My personal insecurity, that I don’t talk about much, is my stretch marks I got while I was pregnant. They have faded quite a bit, but there are still some in places I would rather they not be. Friends and others that have seen my body say I look great, and it was worth getting them to have my child, but they make my body look so different, and I feel like it’s not so great now. With support of family and friends, I do feel better about myself than I used to about this, but it’s something that’s in me and personal.

I have so many issues with myself, and day by day I’m trying to work through them. I really need to learn to see more than just my flaws. Even just by writing this I’m realizing more about myself, and hopefully I can ignore what others say about my body. There’s no way I can change my shape.

I’ve known I was bisexual since I was 12. I had started to find girls in my magazines pretty in different ways than other girls I knew did. I had my first “girl crush”. I didn’t think I was a lesbian, and I was nervous what everyone would think about it, so I kept quiet for years. I learned that you could like boys AND girls and still be normal when I was 14, and I also kissed one of my female friends on a dare. I loved it, and shortly after confided in some of my friends I was bisexual, and one of them said she was too. I finally felt like I understood my feelings about my sexuality.

Fast forward to high school, a lot of girls I knew said they were lesbians or bi and kissed each other, and it seemed like it was a trend. I kept my bisexuality hidden except for my friends, and I had a couple of boyfriends. When I saw those girls a couple years later, almost all of them were straight. Funny how that happened.

Late high school, I had a couple casual sexual encounters with my friends, but nobody had that emotional connection I wanted. After high school, I dated a few girls, but nothing ever grew into anything serious. I started pursuing girls more than guys and wondered if I would be considered a lesbian. I quickly nixed that after a lot of heartbreaks with girls.

While trying to meet girls, in the past and now, (my boyfriend is open to letting me be with girls, sexually or dating) I found out there are a few little problems. Many of the lesbian and bisexual women that I have met will NOT date a girl that has a kid. I know many men won’t either, so I’ve been used to that. But with many of the women I pursued, their biggest problem wasn’t the idea of me having a child, it was that they assumed since I had a child there was no way I could actually like girls and be emotionally involved with them. I’ve been told that multiple times, and to this day, I’m told I’m not really bisexual because I have a kid.

I call bullshit.

I can be attracted to, and want to be with whomever I want, regardless of anything else. Females can’t assume that just because I’ve been with men doesn’t mean I can’t be just as, if not more, emotionally invested in a girl-girl relationship.

There’s a second factor with me that girls don’t like, and I am pretty understanding about this one. I know a few bi girls that say they’re up for casual sex, but since I have a boyfriend they won’t be with me. I think it’s completely understandable if someone doesn’t want to date or be with someone if they’re in a relationship. I can’t say anything about that. But, when certain girls find out I’m bisexual, they seem to disagree with me that I’m bi since I am in a LTR with a man. I know lots of other girls that are bisexual but with a man. That’s like saying, if you’re bi and with a female that you don’t really like men so you’re a lesbian!

Maybe I just know too many judgmental people, because online it doesn’t seem like people will say you’re wrong about your sexuality, and there seems to be a lot more girls in a similar situation as me than I thought.

Making time for sex with busy schedules can be hectic. But try it when there are kids involved! Then it’s a whole new ballgame. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it can be tricky to find enough time for as much sex as you want. Some couples feel like it’s a burden not to be able to have all the spontaneous sex they want, and the sex they do have will either be quick or at a predictable time. But with a little bit of work and communication it can happen, and make both of you very happy.

For me personally, sex wasn’t an issue when I first had a kid. I was single before the gyno even gave the okay for me to have sex again. But eventually I started dating again, which admittedly led to some casual sex. Finding time for sex when you’re just casually dating people can definitely be tough! If you bring your kid to daycare or have a babysitter often, then obviously you can try to meet up with someone for a quickie, but you probably won’t be able to spend the night with your date. Right there that can put a strain on a potential relationship, because your kid is always first, so you can’t just go out and do anything with a partner whenever they feel like.

Being a single parent and finding time for sex might actually be easier in some aspects than couples that are parents, because if you’re going to go out on a date with someone that might eventually lead to sex, you’ll probably already have childcare set up.

I’m in a long term relationship now, and having a kid definitely has changed our sex life from the get go. We can never have sex at ANY given time we want to. At least most couples with kids could before they had children. In my situation, though, we’ve never experienced that. That’s okay, though, because fortunately we’ve found ways to make the most of our sex life with a little one around!

To me, the most obvious ways to make time for sex in a relationship are to do it at night and in the morning. Once your munchkins go to bed, you’ll have the whole night to yourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes schedules are conflicting, so if that’s the case you’ll have to put in the effort to not be “too tired”, and try to meet each other half way to make time for yourselves sometime during the night or morning. Maybe start with some kissing or foreplay and that might lead to sex! Jumping into the shower together in the morning is another great way, especially if your child is still asleep or content with another child.

If you have a younger kid, then nap time is a great chance to get some alone time with each other, as long as you are both home at that time. The only problem with that is the chance of being interrupted, but communication is the key, and you can’t let the little things bother you.

My kid doesn’t nap any more, so daytime sex is pretty much out for me. Unless she’s completely involved in something, and there’s no chance of her getting into anything bad… then I can sneak away for a very short time. We don’t even usually go to bed, just a nearby room where we’re still in earshot. So we have to be VERY quiet! I feel bad about doing this sometimes, but it can bring back that rush of spontaneity, and having some fun is so important in a relationship. A great chance for daytime sex is when your kid is at school if they’re old enough. Or even sleeping over at a friend’s house, then you can get all day and night!

It can be so, so tricky to find time for sex no matter how many children you have. You just have to communicate, and make sure you both are happy with how things are going. If not, then try to make an effort to stay up later, or wake up for morning sex whenever you can. That’s what I try to do most. With the chance of day sex being very rare, I have to make the most of our nights and mornings. The occasional grabbing each other and giving kisses definitely make the sexless days go by easier. Because we know that, even if it’s slightly predictable, that we’ll have sex another night, and it’ll be damn sexy.