There are plenty of reasons to write a love letter, and just as many methods.

Writing a love letter is hard. Don’t worry. It’s like that even for those of us that write constantly, or write for a living. There’s something about spilling your guts on paper that makes it scary and intimidating for everybody. Write it your own way. Everyone’s version will be a little different – that’s what makes them so special.

First off, put away your dictionary and thesaurus. Your love letter should sound like it came from you, from the heart. Write like you speak – it’ll sound more personal and sincere.

The most important thing about writing your love letter is making it believable. You don’t want your love to read it and wonder if you really mean it, if you copied it or had someone else write it, or if you just wrote what you thought they wanted to hear. To keep it on the right track just remember two things: write in your own words and don’t overdo it. “Doth” might sound like a really neat word, but if you don’t use it regularly your love will be puzzled to see it in your letter. Telling your girlfriend she’s great is, well, great – but telling her she’s the single greatest person ever and that there will never be another person half as fantastic as her and that you pale being in the shadow of her awesomeness… will probably make her think you’re hiding something, unless you normally exaggerate.

Think about your partner, your love for him or her, and your relationship. How long have you been together? What is the status of your relationship, and what direction is it going? A letter to a girlfriend of 2 weeks is going to be a lot different than one to a wife of several years. Think about what makes him or her spectacular and moments you’ve shared until you get a big silly grin on your face. What’s her best quality? What do love most about him?

Now write. Tell the person how you feel. Tell them that you love them, and describe your love for them. Compliment them. Recall good times that you had. Tell about the future you want to have. Tell them what they mean to you. Be honest. If it’s not sappy and disgustingly sweet, it’s okay! If you don’t normally open up much, even a short little note that just says something like, “I love you so much, and want to spend forever with you,” is okay. It doesn’t have to sound like a greeting card to be treasured.

Once you’ve got your letter drafted, look it over for errors. This step is especially important if your significant other is a teacher, a writer, or just a person who respects good grammar. Check your spelling, make sure you used the right pronouns, and double-check words like they’re/their/there and your/you’re. Make sure your sentences are clear and imply the meaning you want them to; you don’t want to confuse your partner. It’s a good idea to have a friend in on the plan – they can catch small mistakes that you or spell-check wouldn’t, or help you hone something that might sound awkward.

Now that you’ve checked it over, it’s time to make a final copy. It’s better to hand write it (it looks much more personal that way!). Grab a pen and some nice stationary (or at least a clean sheet of paper) and write carefully. Sign it with your name or nickname and whatever closing you think is appropriate (love, hugs, xoxo, yours, your love, etc.).

Finally, personalize your letter. What are you good at? What does your partner like? Small things can really mean a lot, especially if they’re ‘inside jokes’ or things only the two of you will really get. There are endless possibilities to add a little extra ‘oomph’ and thought to your letter. Here are a few ideas:

• If you’re artistic, decorate the letter or use calligraphy to write it.
• Add a mix CD of songs that remind you of your partner, or ‘your’ songs.
• Use his or her favorite color paper or ink.
• Cut out little construction paper hearts for the border. Yes, it’s extremely ‘third grade’, but everyone likes to be childish now and again.
• Spray a bit of perfume or cologne on it.
• Put on lipstick and add a kiss at the end.
• Have it sent to your partner’s place of work with something they’ll like other than flowers – a good book, a new video game, his or her favorite take-out, etc.
• If you have a short letter, use an image editing program to make it look like a childhood valentine, or buy some of his or her favorite cartoon character ones at the store and write on the back.
• If you know a foreign language, throw in a simple phrase in your closing (like ‘te amo’ or ‘te quiero’ in Spanish). The last thing I made for my beloved included “I love you” in both Vulcan and Klingon.
• Present the letter in-character, if you play RPGs (role-playing games, like World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons, or literary role-plays).

Once you’re done, stick it in a safe place until you’re ready to give it you partner (coffee stains really take away from the whole vibe). Plan your presentation so that your partner will have the time to read the letter thoroughly and keep his or her preferences in mind (if she doesn’t like people watching her read, or you’re nervous, give it to her when she can read it alone). Smell good and prepare to be hugged.

Tomorrow, my boyfriend gets a biopsy.

At the risk of sounding like a petulant child, it’s not fair. He’s not even 50 and has never had any signs of prostate problems before now. Sure, he might run into burning buildings to save people on a weekly basis, but his turnout gear is supposed to protect him from that awful C word, right?

The truth is, preventative healthcare may have saved his life. He had no symptoms and no immediate family with prostate cancer. But the blood test he took to get his overall health checked showed surprising results: his cholesterol was only slightly above normal, but his PSA levels (the ones that indicate problems with the prostate) were too high.

False positives are common with the test. Three blood tests later, however, showed that his wasn’t. Logically, I know that just because his levels are high doesn’t mean it’s cancer – but that knowledge doesn’t make coping with the possibility any easier. Nor does it make me cringe less when the specialist described to us in detail exactly what the biopsy consisted of.

The doctor told us there’d be blood in his urine for a few days, and blood in his semen for several weeks. I snickered. Was it nervous laughter? No. Was it glee at my partner’s pain? Definitely not.

I’m wondering if it’s going to mix in and make his spunk pink just in time for Valentine’s day. Probably not – but the thought of pink semen is about the only laughable matter in this whole ordeal, and I had to point out the possibility. Laughter happens to be one of the better coping mechanisms.

He’s coping by making butt jokes and lots of prostate puns, amidst his massive research effort. He can’t put anything in effect until after the tests are done (lest he skew them), but we’re planning better exercise routines, a better diet based on information from the doctors and people he knows who have prostate problems… and how our stuff is going to mesh properly when we fully move in together in a few months. We’re planning for the event that he has cancer – and we’re planning our future in spite of it.

So why am I telling you this?

Because prostate cancer is slow growing. If caught early, it can be gotten rid of or at least beaten back to the extent that the person can have a long, normal life. Because my friend’s dad died from it, before the new tests were available and it wasn’t easily caught.

Because even though blood tests aren’t cheap, they’re a hell of a lot more affordable than cancer treatments.

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship because of college, a job offer, or because you met your sweetheart online, it can be hard going. I’ve been in one for over three years now, and it seems to only get harder as it goes – you get used to it, but as the person becomes more and more important to you so does the need to see them in the flesh. Here are some ways to make it work, or at least cope until you can see each other again.

1. Send ‘snail mail’ and packages. An email will get there faster, but a handwritten letter is so much more personal and thought out – and at less than a dollar to send, it’s well worth brightening someone’s day with a surprise between their bills. As for packages, who doesn’t like getting a present in the mail? Some of the easiest things to do can mean the most; since the sense of smell is such a memory trigger, wear a shirt for a day or spray it with your perfume/cologne and mail it to your partner. They’ll be able to snuggle with ‘you’ for a few days.
2. Make use of instant messaging programs and webcams. It’s not as good as the real thing, but online messaging offers something other methods don’t: multitasking. You can spend quality time talking with your honey – while clearing out those emails or some other mundane task that doesn’t require much brainpower. Most IM programs will let you use your webcam and microphone, so you can actually see your partner talking; programs like Skype will let you actually ‘video chat’.
3. Do things together, apart. Are you both a fan of the same TV shows or books? You can read the same book and discuss it. My boyfriend and I watch some of the same TV shows; once or twice a week, we’ll talk on the phone while watching. It’s good to hear each other laugh, and we can gush fanspeak at each other during commercials.
4. Get a good phone plan. When my boyfriend’s phone contract ended, he switched to a different provider so that all our calls to each other were free. If you don’t have to stress about the phone bill, you talk more – and have more money!
5. Be realistic, and keep things balanced. Yes, you want to Mr. or Ms. Awesome 24/7. But staring at the phone and spending all day thinking of when you’ll talk is unhealthy. Keep busy, stay on task, and make time for your friends. Separation is hard, but if you make a wreck of yourself before you see each other again the reunion won’t be much fun.
6. Do something to take the pressure off chat. When you’re with your partner in the flesh, you usually don’t spend hours at a time doing nothing but talking. When you’re long distance and all you can do is talk, it gets old fast. You can play an MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game), which lets you chat with each other while playing together. If you’re not into that kind of thing, most messaging programs offer games like Checkers, Chess, and Backgammon. You could also surf the web together and talk about your findings, watch new movie trailers and video clips, etc.
7. Send lots of photos. They don’t have to be glam to make your partner smile. If you did an exceptionally awesome job of cleaning the living room, take a picture and send it. If you think you look awesome in your new coat, send it. Small anniversary? Send a picture with you holding a sign that says “Happy __ months!”
8. Write a love letter. Everybody likes getting a little verbal lovin’. Even if you’re no Shakespeare, just the fact that you tried will give warm fuzzies. There plenty of guides online if you need help getting started.
9. Don’t get overbearing. Communication is important, but no one likes being smothered with phone calls and texts, only to log on and see they have 14 unread emails and 32 ‘pokes’. You have to trust each other – and if you constantly ask for a status update from your partner, they might fee like you don’t trust them.
10. Make plans. Talk about your future. Are you going to live in a blue house? Small town, or big city? Are you meeting halfway next month? Knowing there’s something bright on the horizon makes it easier to muck through the not-so-good parts.