On Wednesday nights, here in Des Moines, you can usually find me at Kirkwood Lounge where Lez Talk “airs.” What’s Lez Talk, you ask? Well, it’s a local comedy talk show that is, as they describe it: Letterman meets The View, meets Ellen. Basically, four of the funniest lesbians I know, and one newly acquired straight girl, come out to let the city in on the gay jokes. They know they stereotypes, they like to break them down and laugh about it at the same time. Their biggest goal with the show is to show others that they’re just like everyone else.

Their segments have a few staples like, Gay in the News, where the ladies discuss news stories that relate to LGBT issues. There’s always a Letters to Ellen, where they actually write up and email letters to Ellen Degeneres every week. (If you happen to be reading this, Ellen… or if any of you know Ellen, they haven’t gotten a response yet, and they’d truly love it!) The most popular segment, I think, is Lesbianese. They always teach terms (either made up by them or that they’ve heard elsewhere) that are double entendres or simply describe sexual acts, people, etc. For example, a “tomato,” is a lesbian. A “cucumber” is a gay man. “BHO” means “bend her over.” (So if you walk by a lesbian and she says she’d like to BHO you, you know what she means!)

A few months back I put in a request to be on the show and talk about one of the few things I have tons of knowledge of: sex toys! The request was granted, and I even got some swag, courtesy of EdenFantasys (and myself) to gift these ladies with at the show. I discussed a little on selecting toys. I explained what you can look for depending on what you enjoy sexually. I also explained a bit about caring for your toys, how you can clean and even sterilize some of you toys. Most of what I focused on was materials and what was appropriate to share if one isn’t fluid-bound to their sexual partner.

Of course, with these ladies, it doesn’t stay serious for long! The topic of harnesses was brought up, and I pointed out that you can find harnesses to fit on many body parts: hands, face, thighs… “Wait! Face?! I have to see this to believe it.” We proceeded to look up the Chin Up harness on the EdenFantasys product page. I can’t remember all the comments made by the discovery of this unique contraption, but I assure you, I got to the point where I couldn’t speak due to the side-splitting laughter! Obviously there was a display of various items you can find on EdenFantasys. There were lots of questions about what the toys were made of and how they worked. At one point, the Leo dildo, by Vixen Creations, was worn as a horn on the forehead of a host. I did get to talk about my favorite toy, the Pure Wand. It was decided that the Pure Wand could be doubled as a dumbbell. (Hey, there’s a reason I have some upper body strength… okay, I don’t have much, you just have to rock it!) We had a contest for the “Best Toy Story,” where an audience member could come up and share their best (or worst) toy stories and win an EdenFantasys tee-shirt. There were a few doosies!

It was a very memorable night with some of my favorite ladies! I’d love to go back sometime and discuss more about toys, or any other topic that can loosely be related to toys.