Body: We all start out as virgins. Some of us regret ‘losing’ that status, some of us haven’t lost it, and some have no desire to ever lose it, even still, some of us lost it and are pretty happy about it. Usually, we’re taught that its simply a state of not having had sexual intercourse yet, and it’s left at that. But, during a rather interesting discussion… it has become apparent to me that to myself, and some others, it means much more.

If virginity includes intercourse, regardless of want or consent, then many victims of rape would have, in effect, had their virginity stolen. However, if virginity hangs solely on consent, and approval… Then what about all the countless times someone regrets having sex? If you regret it and no longer approve of it, are you still a virgin? Is it possible for someone to, physically, not be a virgin but still be one mentally?

These situations are all somewhat perplexing, difficult and probably offensive in some cases. In my case… it was the first ‘example’ that I took offense to. I was raped when I was 8 years old by my female cousins. I brought this up in that discussion, and was promptly told by people who, interestingly, were never in such a situation (and confessed this) but who somehow knew better, that I was, and was not a virgin after my rape. You see, on one side, I engaged in sexual intercourse, even if I didn’t want to- but at the same time I had engaged in female to female intercourse which was non-penetrative and therefore what happened to me did not count as sex at all, to someone else. As anyone who has been in any similar situation can attest to, having people entirely discount and discredit what happened.. it doesn’t feel nice.

If what happened to me wasn’t sexual intercourse, then was it not rape? If I had my virginity stolen then, did I not give it to the person I trusted, years and years later? The argument behind my loss of virginity was that it was ‘sexual experience’ whether I wanted it or not, and I, supposedly could not deny this. Since, you know.. the first thing everyone does after getting raped is run outside and scream “YES! I LOST MY VIRGINITY!”, right? I posed the question to this person (male, fyi), that if he was a virgin, and if someone came in his room right now, bent him over, stuck it in… and proceeded to assault him, would he be scarred, frightened, trying to block it out… or would he go out and jubilantly declare his loss of virginity? Apparently, this stuck with him, because his tune changed really quickly. He had honestly never considered how it would feel to be the recipient in that situation. How it would feel to be assaulted. Never, but he felt it was 100% okay to judge those who had been- this, in itself, is a wholly separate problem.

As far as the person claiming female to female intercourse doesn’t even count as sex.. well, honestly, I don’t want to touch that with a ten foot pole. There are a million reasons he is wrong and I’m not trying to write a book, here.
So lets look at the other examples. What about regret? Does regretting your sexual encounters nullify them? Personally, I would say no- People make mistakes, and sometimes we make mistakes when it comes to who we share ourselves with. I think that if you approved of it, and were of sound mind to approve of it (sober, of age, not threatened or coerced), then it’s just something you did and.. you have to deal with that, you know? And I fully might be wrong- I am sure that someone can give me a personal story where I would, in a heartbeat, change my tune- because I know that there are as many experiences with this as there are people on this earth. At the end of the day this comes down to what you feel, personally. Only you know if you were truly in the right state of mind to make an informed decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity- there are, as we all know, strange circumstances to many people’s encounters.

The last point- Physical loss of virginity, but mentally retaining it. The argument behind this is an odd one, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. In this argument, the person assumes that yes, virginity is nothing more than a physical status and you lose it whether you’re willing or not. BUT, they also continue to say that if you’re not willing, you are ‘mentally’ still a virgin. Since I disagree with the assumption required to make this possible, it is a hard situation for me to consider. I would love to hear some input on this.

Amazingly though, all these points lead to one final point. In this debate, there was not one individual who did not agree that we, as a society, put too much value on virginity. Sometimes people are looked at as ‘dirty’ if they are no longer virgins, or if they lose their virginity at an early age. We also all agreed that, in females, since hymens can be destroyed or damaged in a multitude of ways, it is no longer an effective way to determine if a woman is a virgin or not. In the US, virginity has become less and less important- but in some countries, it is still so important that women are mutilated to preserve it. I have even heard that, in some european countries, it was once a tradition for the woman to take a vial of chicken’s blood with her so that there was a way to ensure there was a blood stain on the sheets- those stained sheets would then be shown outside the honeymooning couples’ houses, and the stain was a symbol of fertility and longevity for the marriage.

In such a world as this, where some countries continue to place, perhaps, an entirely unrealistic value on virginity.. can we, as a whole, discard that value? Why is such a simple trait important to us? There seems to be unrealistic importance placed on many ‘first time’s in life, and yet nobody ever stops to question why this is. In the case of women, it seems obvious- a woman’s virginity has always been something of value and purity. But haven’t we, as women, progressed past that? Instead, many women still continue to cast shame on other women who enjoy sex, or who had sex at an early age. We perpetuate our own shame. For men, loss of virginity has always seemed to be a rite of passage. At least for the men I know, it bestowed confidence and made them feel much more ‘potent’, for lack of a better term. So why is it that for men, loss of virginity is a happy occasion… and for women, it is something we’re usually ashamed about? Even though I was with someone I trusted, I was still nervous and a little upset afterward.

What does your virginity mean to you? Do you think that, as a society, we place too much value on it? Should we attempt to place less on it, then? What about the proposed situations- do you agree or disagree? Have you been in some of these situations yourself?
The opinions on this topic vary widely, and I anticipate hearing some great arguments. Maybe, just maybe.. if we all agree on a few things, then we could try to change them- for the better of all of us.

In actuality, not a lot- we’re all born differently and there are as many different appearances of the labia and vulva as there are women in the world. However, that has not stopped society from, as usual, coming up with some crackpot theories.
Elongated labia minora? You must have a lot of frivolous sex and be loose.
Big clitoris? You’re ‘overstimulated’ and you masturbate a lot.
Sour taste? You must definitely NOT be a virgin, because only ‘pure’ women are sweet tasting!
Dark vulva or labia? Ewwwwwwww, I bet she’s -dirty-!

The list of misconceptions goes on and on and on, an entire culture of shame devoted to making us feel imperfect, soured, impure and tainted every time we look between our legs. Not to mention the constant rumors that all women smell like tuna, and taste like spoiled fish, as well. An endless circle of shame, leading even the owners of the criticized bodyparts believing those lies at the end of the day, some believing it with such conviction that they would go under the knife in hopes of being ‘normal’. To attain the elusive, ‘perfect’ vulva, seen in erotic magazines around the world.
It seems that the only ‘worthy’ genitals are the type that are small, self contained, with a single ‘crease’ in the middle. Hairless, and fair-skinned, an appearance widely reputed as nearly prepubescent. In fact, in some countries it is considered explicit to show elongated labia minora in erotic magazines- even a peek of the clitoris can be considered too much, and only the ‘single crease’ type is allowed. There is a whole industry related to photoshopping a woman’s vulva and vagina so that she has a ‘single crease’ instead of any notable labia minora, and so she’s perfectly bare and smooth- an image many people struggle to achieve in real life, where vanquishing the evil ‘shaving bumps’ is near impossible for some. While Australia is the only one who seems to mandate it, the trend of a ‘single fold’, bare, and pre-pubescent vulva and labia has certainly caught on around the world. In a number of countries, squirting and small breasts are also shamed, since there is no ‘evidence’ of the g-spot and therefore squirting must be piss-play in disguise, right? Even something as insignificant as deciding whether to shave or not can significantly affect your image to someone else, and many less-concerned individuals believe that a woman who keeps her pubic hair is one who does not take care of herself, or worry about looking good. Of course, if someone chooses not to shave, it must be because they do not care about personal hygiene at all, not because of the aforementioned unattainable ‘porn star smooth’ vulva?

With all this shame and stigma surrounding the female genitals, is it any wonder that women, concerned with looking ‘loose’ or ‘well worn’, frequently undergo labiaplasty out of shame? Of course, just like any plastic surgery, there are cases where it is done for personal preference as well… However it seems that much more often, it’s motivated by a fear or distaste of what some particularly offensive parties like to call ‘beef curtains’- elongated or wrinkly labia minora that protrude from the labia majora. A combination of photoshopping magazine photos and online pornographic photos, as well as porn starlets often being chosen purely for their looks, has made the average woman worry that she is not ‘normal’, and that she would be ridiculed by a bed partner if she chose to show them what may be her most personal place.

So the question arises, how do we change this? How can we, as a whole, contribute to the cessation of body shame for everyone involved- female or not?

It starts with you, me, everyone. Familiarize yourself with your body, and come to love it. For women who may feel ashamed, your genitals are your temple- anyone you allow to worship there should be grateful, and if they are not, excommunicate them from your personal church. For those who carry these misconceptions, stop them. When you hear a joke about the “ol’ soggy fish taco”, don’t laugh. Stop the spread of such misconceptions by simply not endorsing them, and encouraging others to stop as well. Surely, there will be some immature people who continue- but once they become a minority, they shall simply be looked at as immature. For onlookers, or partners of women who may be ashamed of their body, make sure that when you are with a woman you tell her she is beautiful in that area. Appreciate her, and she will appreciate you back. Learning, in general, to appreciate the individual beauty of people, whether it’s the parts of their body they show us every day, or the more private and personal parts, is something that is worthwhile for everyone, no matter what you identify as. Everyone has their own form of beauty, and appreciating others in that sense will allow them to feel more relaxed around you. There’s much less stress involved in any personal interaction if one, or both of the participants are not worried about their appearances.

My own journey with genital shame, and body shame, was a long and arduous one. I still come across the occasional comment that makes me feel ugly, too, but now that I have stopped taking it seriously it does not matter as much to me. Some women would consider me lucky. Though it is likely due to my weight, I have a ‘single crease’ vulva, yet despite this I was always concerned that I was not normal. My labia majora are exceptionally large, soft, and ‘puffy’. I was so worried that my partners would find me unattractive because I was not what I thought was ‘normal’. It wasn’t until recently, being told multiple times, by multiple people that I was beautiful, even when I hadn’t shaved or powdered or tried to cover my natural scent, that it finally sunk in. I am beautiful because I am me. Everyone is beautiful because they are themselves.

If we, collectively, stop allowing people to make us feel ashamed of ourselves, then we should be able to gradually vanquish that shame. We should not feel afraid of enjoying what our bodies have to offer us, and we definitely should not be ashamed about the appearance of a part of our body that we can not even control. Take control of your self esteem- why should anyone elses’ comments influence how you, personally, feel?

Empower yourself, and in doing so, empower everyone else around you. By taking time to appreciate yourself, and learning to appreciate others, you’ll build your confidence. Self confidence has an amazing affect on someone, and many would argue that it makes anyone instantly more beautiful or handsome. Together, especially in such a radical time of change, when gender studies and body image studies are becoming more legitimate and more mainstream, we can all contribute to the end of body shame- no matter what society is trying to shame us about.

Doctors. I’m not sure I know a single person who likes going to the doctor, but most of the people I know are more willing than I. “What happened?” They muse, “Why do you hate the doctor so much? You should just go and get it over with!”. It’s not one thing that just happened. Not two things. Not three. But the consistently inferior treatment that befalls me because I am fat.

When I was young, I used to love going to the doctor. I got magic pills that made my colds go away, and I got a lollipop. It was fun, and the doctors office I went to was colorful and I got to play my gameboy while I waited. I loved the doctor, until one day the doctor stopped having answers to my problems- logical answers, anyways. “Doctor, my back hurts…” “Oh, it’s just because of your weight. Do some stretches, and you should be alright.” When I was 8 years old, I began having chronic back pain. Every couple months, I’d try my luck with the doctor. Each time I was told the same thing. Once, there was a foreign woman who was interning at the office, she straight up said “It’s because you are fat.”, and I couldn’t believe it. I was young, naive, but not so stupid I believed those kinds of insults I endured at school should also be said to me by doctors- who I had trusted up until then.

Fast forward 3 years. I’m 11. The doctor, sick of my whining, finally gives me a pass for physical therapy. I do my physical therapy, thinking its helping, until one day the therapist saw my back, exposed, during an electrical stimuli treatment. After it was finished, he looked at it, and had me stretch down to my toes. He said I should get an x-ray of my back- He thought I had scoliosis.

Back at the doctors, after some coaxing by my parents, he gave me a prescription. Soon after I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, nearly bad enough to warrant immediate surgery. I went to new doctors, got a back brace, was publicly embarrassed at school by having to tote it around on occasion. My back improved, but not much, and soon after I stopped growing, I stopped wearing the brace.

I was about 13 or 14 then, and I’d begun seeing endocrinologists because I am fat and thus, I have problems with triglycerides and such. I am not diabetic, but I am insulin resistant, despite having perfect blood sugars without medicine in my system. I went to my doctor, who I had come to hate, with my mother who is also quite obese. He would scold me, only when my mother was there, never in the presence of my fit, rather thin father. Once, he said, straight up “I bet you had McDonalds for lunch before you came here, didn’t you?”, I was appalled. He would insist on billing my visits under “weight management”, knowing they would not be covered by our insurance, and then he would force me to endure the lecturing of a dietitian every single time. Anything to fatten his wallet.

If that wasn’t bad enough, my new pediatrician, who specialized in ADHD, diagnosed me at a glance- and put me on a huge dosage of drugs. I ran the gamut, he moved me from Ritalin, to Concerta, then Concerta XR, and I believe there was another one tossed in there (but I cant recall the name). He liked having me on Concerta because he said it would suppress my appetite. Oh, it suppressed it alright. I couldn’t eat all day, until it was nearly time for bed. I couldn’t keep down breakfasts, and would eat palty amounts of food, only a few hundred calories a day including soda. I didn’t lose an ounce. Once my mother saw that some children had died on lower dosages of one of the medicines I was on, she took me off of it and changed doctors. I had never had ADHD or ADD at all. Turns out, he will diagnose anyone with it. Every child who went to that doctor got a positive diagnosis.

He also tried to bill under weight management many times.

My metabolism has never been the same since then. Medicines take twice as long to stop affecting me as they do other people, I digest things slowly and I eat slowly, I get full quickly- yet I still have not lost weight. I also had years of horrible, serious stomach pains- another common, yet as far as I know unwritten, side effect of those types of drugs. When I inquired, I was simply told it was because I was a woman and they were period pains.

Time has passed since then, and I still get treated like a child by all my doctors, including one who refuses to accept that no, I do not have hypertension, I just have white coat syndrome because I despise doctors- which I think is completely understandable given my history of mistreatment and betrayal with them. However, he insists that I should take pills, monitor my blood pressure at home, and prove to myself that it is high. Worse still, my mother lies and says things where they aren’t welcome- for example, I am supposed to wear a C-Pap machine. This is none of my endocrinologists’ business at all, but she blabbed and now he pesters me about it every single time. Every doctor I go to has turned into an hour long “You’re fat, and you should feel bad- also, take more pills” session.

Recently, my back pain flared up again. I tried going to a chiropractor, but it didn’t help at all, so I went to my normal doctor. I got told a new version of an all too familiar line. “Sorry, but scoliosis doesn’t cause back pain. It’s just because of your weight.”

It seems even the people who’re supposed to have an oath to heal and help will still never get past the weight stigma in this world. Oh, and for the record- yes, severe scoliosis does indeed cause back pain. Anyone who has it can attest to this. By the way… She offered me Motrin for the pain… And a slip for physical therapy.

Oh how history does seem to repeat itself.

Yes, an endless battle- but not against the media, not against any one religion. To be honest, at some point, most people on either side just start fighting against themselves.
I know that from the second some of you read that title, you may feel defensive or insulted- How can someone trivialize such an important issue like that, into some child’s game? The answer is that while I may be the one saying something, I never turned it into that game.

When did the fight for rights become a childish game? It’s impossible to say, but it has happened on both sides…
It is the person who decides to hate all of the other sexuality, and talk badly about them right in front of them when those two people would get along just fine if they were both gay or both straight. It is the person who believes that making childish gay jokes from the 1990′s when they are adults still makes them cool. It is the person who insists everyone simply ‘know’ every definition, and who will tear someone up if they do not. The person who waits for someone to mess up to accuse them of being some kind of sexuality-phobe.

To be frank, the least mature of the participants of this battle have turned it into nothing more than an obsessively politically correct (or else) pissing match. Not content with deciding to dislike someone in their personal lives, or perhaps persuaded to dislike them because of poor behavior by that group that they are commonly a witness to, they have decided to strike back, in the only ways they know how. This does not exist only on one side of the battle, and it has created one of the greatest struggles man will probably ever face.

However, with this self-sabotaging behavior, can it be said that any of these participants who do choose the childish way out really ever wanted to win in the first place? The heterosexual who, sick of being called a breeder and other disgusting names, runs to join disruptive anti-gay rallies outside of commonly gay nightclubs. The homosexual who distributes material that is anti-hetero online, which, while based off of religious anti-homosexual propaganda and while making a point, is also insulting to the rest of us who aren’t very religious or extremist in our views. The heterosexual who finds out a coworker is gay and tries to out them in public to humiliate them. The straight mother who “Eww!”s every time something vaguely lesbian is on the tv. The homosexuals who decide any attention is good attention, and who decide to rally in the streets to, occasionally intentionally, disrupt traffic whilst they proclaim anyone who dared interrupt them obviously was an enemy of the cause, not merely someone needing to get to work.

There are countless more examples of times when good intentions have simply translated into horrible actions and effects. Of course, this happens on every issue, but since the issue of gay rights is most commonly countered with religion, sadly, some rights activists have taken to indiscriminately hating, harassing, or attacking ‘enemy’ religions or people who participate in them. To these people, are they still fighting for their rights, or are they knowingly damning themselves and their cause?

Allow me to elaborate- on both sides, nobody is going to support a group if they find the constituents of that group to be intolerable. The longer time goes on, the more both sides become like warring cliques in highschool, trying to sling the most mud at the others’ face to make them lose composure. Is this honestly the way to acceptance? Does anyone honestly believe that? Does anyone, on either side, realize that this method of fighting is basically demanding that they’re right, then kicking and screaming like a spoilt child until they get their way?

I am quite sure I’ll be called many things for this post, told I don’t understand rights movements, I’m just a stupid breeder, or something of that ilk. Honestly, though, when I look at rights movements in the past, I see a composed people respectfully fighting for their cause- not spitting indignantly into the faces of their opponents, even if those opponents spat at them first.

It has gotten to the point where some of these childish fighters, perhaps knowing what they do is wrong, have begun to viciously attack anyone who dares to think against them. If you tell them they’re overthinking things, or that they’re just acting immature and using whatever side of the ‘movement’ they are on as a cover, etc, they will instantly declare you to be against whatever they’re preaching. If you are not with them, you are against them. While, certainly, not all people on either side of the gay rights issue are like this, certainly the most vocal on each side are. As is usual in any issue, the squeakiest wheels are getting the grease- or tv time, and they also seem to gain the most popularity on the net.

Most recently, I saw a redo of a poster that had, undoubtedly, been used by some wildly religious group. It had been redone to be against heterosexuality, and it treated it like a disease. While it made a point, a solid “How do you like it?” point, there was no reason for it to have become such a phenomenon that some people praised it and wished it were real. That they were the majority and heteros the minority, ignoring the fact that for them to have that position and for them to have created that, it would mean they, too, had chosen to be unaccepting.
It happens on both sides. The number of immature ‘gay’ jokes on websites is unfathomable, and there are always comments about being gay as if it is a disease- ex; “You’ll catch the gay”, but there is, as far as I know, also a greater number of people who’re openly heterosexual as opposed to openly homosexual. This does not excuse the actions at all, but it could definitely explain why heterosexuals seem to bear the burden of ‘more’ fanatics and immature mud-slingers.

At the end of the day, I think it’s important to take a step back and look at things from an outside perspective. Both sides have misbehaved, and both sides have been childish, but continuance of these immature acts of defiance will only garner you more hate, no matter which side you’re on. As some say, the stronger the north wind blows, the tighter the traveler will draw his robe. In this case, both sides are gale-force winds blowing at each other, and making no headway at all. To get the traveler to loosen his robes, to see your reason, you must instead be like the warm summer sun. Strong, unyielding, understanding and warm… instead of attacking mercilessly.

Undoubtedly, most people who read this will either already be level headed, or already aware of the problem. What can you do? Simple. Be louder a voice than the immature ones, who will grow tired as soon as their entertainment runs dry. Be unyielding, and be welcoming. Rights and acceptance are not something one can simply demand as if it is a cookie. They’re something that, like it or not, must be worked for, and not taken for granted. Throwing mud, no matter which side it’s thrown from, just makes everyone dirtier in the end, and not in the good way.

BREAKING NEWS AT FIVE ‘O CLOCK! Angry internet sex toy reviewer calls local news stations a “Fuckbucket”- What does it -mean-?
..Okay, while the news hasn’t gotten QUITE that stupid yet, on our local level they’re getting quite dry for content. This has lead to multi-week coverages of the “trash tax walkout” issue, where a council member decided to walk out of a meeting to prevent a vote being held to raise taxes on something we’ve already had two significant raises on in the past year. Universally people think he was a pretty cool guy for doing it, but the local news stations seem to think it’s more productive to whatever goal they are working towards to paint the guy as an irresponsible child- for two weeks straight.
When they aren’t picking a random upstanding member of the community to chastise, they’re usually making 5 minute TV spots about issues such as “How to make meals in your slow cooker”, “What’s your favorite Halloween candy?” and of course “What to do if you are attacked by a dog”. The last one would have been relevant, except that they did not actually provide any answers. They, instead, asked a bunch of people who had never been attacked by dogs what they would do, and they also showed the same clip of a man in a bite-suit getting attacked by a trained police dog about 12 times through the segment.

Of course, covering stupid things that don’t mean anything at all isn’t the only thing the news is good for- Their other talent? Horrifying the living shit out of you. Do you need to know about a couple shaking their baby to death while you have your morning coffee? ‘Cause you’re going to know now. Also, there was a fire and three brutal murders. HAVE A GREAT FUCKING DAY THOUGH.
As someone who works outside a lot, going door to door in neighborhoods I don’t know well, talking to people I don’t know and who I don’t care to know, finding out these things only makes my job harder. While some people may get off to seeing pictures of violent crimes and hearing about others getting shot, unless the news is that the culprit was caught- I don’t really want to know. The worst part about this is that they will intersperse the death, rape, and general horror between things you really do need to know, like the weather and traffic delays, if there are any. They taunt you, hinting that MAYBE the weekend will be warmer- OR WILL IT?! You have to sit through their shenanigans for 10-15 minutes to get to the weather report, and it’s most likely changed a lot over the past week- making it impossible to tune in just Monday and be set for the week, unless you want to get rained or snowed on.

So, maybe murder isn’t enough for you. Maybe you’re immune. How about rape? Pedophilia? The news will find your vice and prey on it, and to get maximum button-pressing power they will likely try to shove all of these things into their 30-60 minute block. By the time you leave for work, you should either be completely desensitized to any and all violence, laughing at death’s face, or you’ll be like most people- Paranoid to the max, carrying mace, three tasers, two cell phones and with a max security home alarm that only unlocks via a retina scan.

I hate the news because they hate me. They hate me, you, and everyone else around us. They waste my time, and make me paranoid- focusing on all the bad in the world while keeping a perfect smile on their faces. When there’s a casualty, they’ll be the first to know- all fighting like rabid dogs for a scrap of meat, trying to get the best shot of the deceased, the assaulted, the beaten, the betrayed, for some morbid and yet totally nonsensical reason. Almost universally people dislike hearing about such things on the news, and yet they claim the constant bloodbath increases ratings. Perhaps it’s just that nobody has a choice- we all need to watch the news sometimes, and we can’t just turn it off during the morbid parts or we may miss out on whatever it is we need to know. The news is a vital tool for those not able to get the weather and traffic on the go, and sometimes they DO have things relevant to our every day lives- and they abuse that position of power and that sense of need to give us the exact opposite of what we need to start or end our day. So yes… I hate the news.

I’d like to preface this by saying it might not apply to all men, or all partners. However, I’ve never met a man who didn’t suffer from at least one of these problems, and I believe maybe the vast majority of you can share my concern in some capacity.

With that said-
Men, we need to have a talk about boobs. Sometimes, I think you treat my boobs unfairly. Either you treat them like a time bomb, barely brushing against them, or you’re trying to rip them off and take them home with you. Sometimes, you’re turning us on- but forgetting entirely that there’s more to the breasts than just the nipples! Or even worse, you may find yourself focusing on one breast and leaving the other to it’s sad solitude. In fact, sometimes you ignore my breasts entirely and go straight for the goal.

Now, I can’t speak for all women- but I, personally, am 100% for fair and equal breast treatment. Why should one breast be shown favoritism? Why should our breasts be treated as time bombs, or ripped off like you’re a starving man and we’re the only apple tree for miles? I believe that the time has come to stand up for our boobs.

Our boobs are not time bombs. If you are handling them too roughly, we can (and should) let you know. Don’t be afraid to grab a handful, or press in a bit while rubbing, or even squeeze them a bit. I once had a man who, when he asked to try holding my breasts for a tit job, lamely pushed them together so lightly they didn’t even touch. This is unacceptable. Sometimes you just need to abandon the chivalrous attitude and grab a handful, guys. If you just saw us tugging, squeezing, pushing them together, or any other lovely number of boob related activities- you can bet that it is probably safe for you to do as well.

At the same time, our breasts are not meant to be treated as something you take back with you for home use. Grabbing and tugging, trying to rip off, pulling or twisting usually is not enjoyable. While some women enjoy pain, unless she tells you to do so it is safe to assume she is not into pain that much. Breasts are sensitive, and well… Would you like it if someone did that to your testicles? This goes for biting on them, sucking extremely hard, and chewing too. I don’t know why men like to chew on breasts, but I can assure you that unless your partner tells you differently, the time to treat her breasts like food is probably long gone or it’s not yet happened. Though breasts are sometimes jokingly referred to as tater tots, they really aren’t anything like a food item and you should not try to consume them.
As far as sucking, this can be enjoyable if you do it lightly, but boob hickies are not fun at all. It ends up hurting a lot, and for something that is usually in constant contact with a bra and clothing, this is problematic. So, please refrain from sucking so hard on our breasts that your skin color changes. We are not a children’s tv show character and we do not want to be purple, and NO, it’s not funny when you suck a big red spot onto our skin then poke it and giggle like a child as the pressure makes it go white for a moment- really, it isn’t.

What about unfair nipple favoritism? It seems more and more like guys think you can twiddle a girl’s nipple for a few seconds and skip the rest of the foreplay, if they even put in that much effort to begin with. This is entirely untrue. I can’t speak for all women, but I like to have my breasts fondled and rubbed a bit before you go straight to the top of the mountain. Try kissing around our nipples to tease us, or give us something like a breast massage. It’s really nice, and if done right it’s pretty arousing. If you’re unsure as to what turns on your woman, guys, you can just ask. I am sure that in most cases she would tell you or at least point you in the right direction.

Which leads me to the last couple points- Please, men, don’t pay all the attention to one breast and just idly hold the other one, or rub it half heartedly while the other breast gets a full treatment. For me, at least, so much stimulation on one breast will lead it to stop being as arousing, so it’s a good idea to switch back and forth to keep from over stimulating. Moreover, don’t skip our breasts entirely. Even if you’re only in this for the sex, you can’t just start shoving things in there and expect it to be okay. It wont be okay. Besides, if you’re having sex with someone who owns a pair of breasts, it’s reasonable to wager you like breasts in some capacity- so what’s wrong with playing with them? We all know how much fun they are, we live with them! Unless we’ve told you we like rough sex and we like pain, or unless we were already very turned on, it’s most likely that we want you to spend some time on foreplay. Oh and by the way, thirty seconds of rubbing our clit does not count as foreplay, sorry.

So please, guys, try to be a little bit more considerate of the ol’ mammaries, and girls, for goodness’ sake, speak up! Your partner will never get better at turning you on unless you help him to do so, as every woman is different. Keeping that in mind, though, that doesn’t mean you should still keep on trying all of the above in hopes that you get a girl who is into boob-ripping and twisting, or feather-light boob petting. Despite the satirical tone, I hope everyone can learn a little from this. Girls, speak up. Guys, not everything you see in porn is real- even though its a movie with sex in it, it really is STILL just a movie.
Please… think of the titties.

Body: Well ladies, I’m sure most of us, regardless of size, can relate to the dismal, disappointing, and sometimes downright painful experience of bra shopping. Weeks filled with “This SHOULD fit, though!” ” *SNAP* OH GOD, OH GOD OW” and “What?! Did they actually get SMALLER?? ” until you finally find the perfect bra that hugs your little ladies in a warm, lifting and separating embrace. Then you buy two, and within a few months to a year you’re doing the whole dance all over again.

While I recognize this ordeal as particularly horrible for all women, I feel that plus sized girls have a special challenge- Because when it comes to our tits, more is actually less, depending on where you go. I suppose this is done because bra makers assume larger girls all want a bra that covers half their chest, and that they all of breasts the size of Rhode Island. Nothing against you if you do, but not all of us are much more gifted than the average lady- myself included. I have a normal D cup, considered medium for a girl of my size, and ‘normal’ bras, when I can find them in my measurements, support the fact that I do, in fact, have a D cup. Yet, when shopping at a popular plus sized store, the D cup there has room for a full extra set of breasts in the cup. I had never felt more inadequate in my life.

Being that I do, desperately, NEED new bras, I swallowed my pride and tried C cups. I was, yet again, faced with that dilemma. In fact, the size of the cup didn’t seem to have changed at all. Maybe there was actually only room for 3/4 a spare set, though. At this point, I was really frustrated. All of the bras were large, chest and torso covering, constricting (no matter the measurement), and I was generally getting pissed off. Even if I could have gotten a bra that fit my breasts, I wouldn’t have wanted to deal with wearing what was, essentially, a small tank top underneath the rest of my clothes. I was aggravated, feeling defeated, and I left. My mom, who had accompanied me on the trip, shared my frustration. She’s even smaller in that area than I am, and since she frequently shops at that store, she has become convinced that no bra will ever fit her. I am beginning to see why.

Apparently, anything other than a normal bra’s F, G, H, etc sizes is not adequate. If you’re big, you’re expected to have boobs twice as big as everyone else, and if you don’t this store wants nothing to do with you. Fortunately, there are alternatives. Catalogs, of course, and online shopping. These things, though, are inherently flawed. Cup sizes, band sizes, overall fit, and comfort can vary drastically between brand. Some brands also suffer the infamous pyramid titty syndrome, and the pictures always miraculously hide this. Taking away a woman’s ability to really shop for a bra that she knows will fit her is making her shop blind, essentially. While you can, of course, return these items and go through a merry-go-round of shipping and trying, exchanging, trying, exchanging, until you get the right one, how much easier would it be if one could simply do this in a store, where it may take a few hours or days, but nowhere near as long as waiting on the lovely ol’ postman to bring you your hook-closure roulette of the week?

Of course, if you want something a bit sexier than your run of the mill, lacey trimmed bra, take all those problems and double them. In fact, don’t bother looking in stores. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a Lane Bryant close to you (Most of the retail stores have gone out of business lately), you wont find much over 1X, and other similar store such as Fashion Bug Plus are geared towards teens. As such, while they might have a thong or three, and maybe some novelty bra and panty sets during the holidays, they will not have anything more mature than your average teen is allowed to see in a retail setting- this eliminates their ability to carry much or any lingerie.

This takes your options down to catalogs, and I’ve never seen much GOOD lingerie in catalogs, or you can go for online shopping. Yes.. Online, plus sized clothes shopping. The blindest blind purchase in the world. Sure you can get sizing info, but you wont know if the fabric is comfy, if it has stretch, or if it’s an unknown company, how their particular sizes run- large or small. Moreover, most plus sized ladies’ stores don’t have much in the way of ‘sexy’ to begin with. You’re reduced to sites that look unprofessional, sketchy, and that you’ve never heard of before. Most of these websites also don’t have off-site testimonials, since I suppose not many women online want to admit to being plus-sized and having bought from such stores.

Assume you’re able to find yourself a nice plus sized lingerie shop that you trust with your credit card. Most of the stuff they carry will probably be from a lot of different brands, and a lot of different fits. It’s very important to look at the sizing info for every product, too. Unless the product has a free-size waistline (allowing you some breathing room if you have a tummy), you’re going to want to watch out for companies who think that everyone has a perfect hourglass figure, no matter how big or small they are. You’ll also find yourself running into the boob problem- Yes, again!! Most plus sized lingerie is not made for anything below a D cup. I have found some C cup offerings on occasion, but really, if you’re below a D cup you’re probably out of luck and you’ll need to get lingerie custom sized for you.

No matter where you go, the odds are stacked against you, especially if you’re plus sized. What’s worse is that some of the lingerie places will, understandably but frustratingly, not accept returns at all. This means you couldn’t even go through the try, exchange, try, exchange dance, and you’re going to be out a considerable chunk of change at the end of finding whatever size and brand fits you how you’d like.

Sometimes, I wonder if the female clothing and sizing system isn’t made to just confuse and frustrate us all to death- and to think, psychologists STILL wonder why women suffer from stress more than men!

While I’m sure some people were lucky and have partners who were already knowledgeable in toys and who were accepting of it, not everyone is so blessed. I am sure many of us have had to have the awkward conversation, the “What IS that thing?” stares, and for male partners, the “…I feel tiny and insignificant now” dilemma. Personally I have had reactions ranging from “I just don’t get it” to outright fear of toys- However, I think with a few simple concepts, we could all have a bit of an easier time breaking the ice with our partners, and while these may not work for every relationship, they can at least give you some ideas on how to get your partner begging to use your toys on you and with you.

As with all relationship aspects, communication is key. This is true especially when your partner fears the toys are better than them or that they will be replaced by them. Most often, though, simply saying “That’s not true” will not be enough to settle the issue. If there is any sort of distance between you and your partner, it can exasperate the issue, making them feel neglected since you don’t “need” them in the bedroom, or because you use toys as an aid when you talk dirty with them on the phone, that they aren’t good enough.

The best way I have found to overcome this issue is not to continually belittle the toys but rather, to make your partner feel needed, sexually. Instead of just saying you’ll go get a toy, ask them if they want you to get something to play with, or if they want to play with you. Including them can be an easy way to make them forget the fact that you’re using a toy at all, and it will give them a sense of interaction that you wouldn’t have if you just decided to say “Oh, I’m getting a toy- keep talking though”. Eventually you might find your partner asking you to go get something to play with, or asking what your favorite is, what do you use when you talk to them or think of them… They’ll start to get curious about it, and want to be even more involved.

When you physically introduce your partner to your toys, you should try to have a bit of tact. This seems obvious, but when I was a toy newbie myself I really didn’t have any, and just assumed people would accept it or not- I didn’t really care. This really is not the way to go when someone is anxious about something and new to it. Some girls may look at something large and realistic and to them, it wont be threatening- but to your partner it might be. Start with small things that look innocent- handheld bullets, pocket rockets, very small insertables or clitoral toys. Men especially seem to like metallic things, though I am sure that doesn’t apply to all men, my beau was really fond of the RO80mm and a simple blue metallic bullet I’d gotten at a sex shop.

Most likely, if its their first time really seeing something of that nature, they’ll want to make light of it- you should expect this and be prepared to do so. ‘Zap’ them with the toy when they aren’t expecting it, or try and see whose hand takes longer to get numb if you’re just holding them. Sometimes it helps to have a floppy dildo or packing penis you don’t use at all just to bring it out as a humor object- laughing about it can really help them feel more comfortable, and take away some of the “It’s going to replace me” aspect if you obviously treat it like an object. On that note, you shouldn’t go off into dreamland about how much you love a toy and how you want to marry it or if you’ve named it etc at this time. Those things will definitely just make them feel like they aren’t needed in your sex life, and your partner, if you’re dating, will want you to have feelings for them- not a hunk of rubber that knows some fancy tricks. Don’t immediately try to get them to use the toys on you, either, because they probably wont, and if they do, they’ll be very confused. Partners I’ve had who knew all about toys still have a tough time using them on me, and it’ll turn them off if their very first attempt ends in failure- and teaching someone else how to use a toy on you is infinitely harder than doing it yourself.

Once they are comfortable around toys and have seen them a couple times, you should try to slowly introduce toys into your sex life. Don’t grab a big honkin’ dildo and throw it at them, either.. and if you can avoid it, don’t let them pick. I made this mistake once and ended up almost having my vagina vibrated off. You shouldn’t simply surprise them by wearing a toy to a play session either- if they aren’t familiar with the concept of keeping toys inserted for long periods of time, especially anally, it might gross them out and well.. that’d be the end of that session. Try to reintroduce the smaller toys you first showed them, and show them how to use it on you, guide their hand and tell them what’s right and what’s wrong. For things like the Eroscillator and other ‘wand’ style toys, be careful- they’re very hard for other people to use since they can’t feel when its where it needs to be. Ideally you want to use something foolproof, something you know will get you off. Strong bullets work well, the Hitachi will scare them because it’s loud but if they aren’t bothered by that it can work well. I don’t recommend using something with a ton of functions like a rabbit or fancy bullet vibe, since they will obviously not know what function or functions you like unless you tell them- and even if you do, rabbits are just plain hilarious to most people when they first see one in person, waggling around with spinning beads and other bells and whistles. Insertables can work if they aren’t too intimidating, like a small g spot toy- the Acute or any medium/small Tantus toy would work since they aren’t too dick-esque. For male partners, try not to pick something obviously bigger than them the first time they ever use something on you. Unless its an Acuvibe or Hitachi, which isn’t meant to be inserted, they’ll probably be intimidated and have a bit of penis envy. Also, if your partner doesn’t like something specific- Like say, they don’t like pink, or they don’t like girly sparkly things- you should try to entertain those likes and dislikes. It’s only fair, since if they’re willing to use something on you, they’re already putting themselves into new and unknown waters for your sake.

Unless you and your partner are very comfortable with each other, its also best not to be annoyed or rough or joke around about them not knowing how to use it. Unless you can make it very funny, it will probably hurt their feelings a bit. What seems straightforward to you, who obviously knows how to use toys, won’t seem so to your partner and they may be a bit clueless if you just hand them a bullet and lay back, spread eagle. If something is or isn’t meant for penetration, make sure to say so- if it’s reasonably large and rounded off, and they don’t know better, they will probably attempt to just shove it in and out of your cooch- and trust me, you don’t want them doing that with something that REALLY isn’t meant to go there, for one reason or another. Of course.. perhaps most of these frustrations are limited to male partners, but if you’re with a woman who is new to toys as well, she may not know how to use them either. When you first got your toys, you probably had some time to figure out how they worked or what they were like. With the things I got that weren’t straightforward (Stick into vagina, pull out, repeat) it took me some time to figure out how I liked it, and even to a female partner who likes toys, she may not know specifically how you like them to be used on you.

Finally.. It is up to your own discretion, but if you have a collection the size of Rhode Island, like me- you should wait to show them until they are wholly comfortable around toys. Tell them and make them curious, but even saying a number really has nowhere near the impact as actually being there, seeing someone pull open a drawer and have it be full of toys. I’ve had people just go into shock and say “I thought you were joking!” so it can be something that definitely needs to be held off of for a while with a partner who is a total toy virgin. Oh, and if you have shockingly large toys, try to save them for last. Large toys and realistic toys seem to be the ones that people in general are shocked the most by.

P.S. Though it is a separate issue, sex toy blogging is something toy newbies might be adverse to as well- the ones I have met think sex is private and so is masturbation, so it’s up to your discretion, but all the same I wouldn’t recommend saying “I write about myself jacking off as a hobby”, especially if you’re dating. They may end up jealous, thinking its like erotica or pornography, since obviously to review a toy you must use it first, and you’re sharing those ‘private’ experiences on the internet, freely. You will need to explain where the free toys come from, if you get any, though… People will get suspicious that someone is buying them for you, and this can really, really bother some people- especially if they have a romantic interest in you.

A lot can be said about the self confidence, or lack thereof, of a plus-sized woman for her body image. Bombarded from birth by girls who are, at most, size 14-16, we are taught that we are inferior- damaged, sick, or unacceptable in some other way. Doctors make cruel assumptions, as does everyone else- My doctors, ignoring that high blood pressure and insulin resistance runs in the family on both sides, would often haughtily demand to know if I had McDonalds for lunch before seeing him. People in stores remark that you shouldn’t buy sugar, or cookies, or soda, since you “don’t need it” and they are obviously an expert on the subject of what you need.

As one may see from these examples, there are a lot of penalties that come from being not curvy, but plus-sized, in this world. Many looks are received, but they are looks of pity or disgust. However, this is one of the few cases where I feel the ‘real world’ is much less harsh than the kiddish highschool setting- to a degree. In highschool, physical and sexual abuse is much more likely to go un-noticed. In fact, despite repeated allegations of physical abuse, and sometimes sexual, I was simply told to ignore it- Or I was the one who got in trouble. I was told I ‘provoked’ the other children by being fat, or poor at sports.
Changing in gym class was a horrid experience. In fact, I got so humiliated eventually I gave up. I had to retake the class twice due to being shy and skipping or refusing to change and participate. The looks the other women gave me when I changed, the stifled laughter, the mocking impressions… Made much worse by the fact that I was poor at sports, and already a quiet individual. I was often preyed upon by the only bisexual in the class- Younger than me, but she loved ogling me. She would insist that because I didn’t have a boyfriend, I must like women. That was a trend that started in elementary school.

As a 4th grader, I was forcibly kissed by a 6th grade girl, who insisted I liked women because men had no interest in me. I refused her advances, and at the end of the year I was beaten up, kicked, and spat on by her and her class. I was called unappreciative, and no pity was taken on me until I was crying loudly, and one girl in the class finally said “I think she’s had enough, guys.” The abuse never ended, though. Once I developed breasts, men would sexually harass me as well. It wasn’t uncommon for me to be air-humped, touched inappropriately, or verbally harassed by a few men each year. I actually didn’t start out as a quiet child, though. I used to be very energetic, until the abuse intensified. I thought perhaps, if I was quiet, nobody would notice me. Instead, my appearance and my shy demeanor garnered me more abuse.

Things would be thrown at me, materials would be stolen or damaged, and there was a rumor around the school that one day I would come back and kill everyone who had hurt me, and those who allowed it. Luckily, after highschool, I can say much of this has stopped.
My abuse now is limited to abuse in relationships, discrimination, cruel remarks and abusive remarks by doctors. Apparently, if you’re a plus sized woman, men think you don’t have a choice as per who to sleep with- so they will expect you to be their slaves. I was once with a man who screamed at me day and night, told me I only used my brain for holding my hair in, that my like for sex and sex toys was created entirely by my abuse as a child. When I finally snapped and broke it off with him, he said he had only been doing it for my own good- To try and make me a better person.

Though I have largely taken on a “If you don’t like it, fuck you” attitude about my appearance, it was not until very very recently that I held that opinion. I decided that my purpose in life was not to please everyone else, but rather, to be happy in my own right. Since taking on this point of view and empowering myself through affirmations and being daring, I have been much, much happier. I think a lot of the problems faced by large women can be resolved if they decide to carry themselves as a happy, self confident person. And I know, believe me, I know how hard it is with the media and society so focused on being dangerously thin… But once you make the decision to live life for yourself, I believe anyone would be a lot happier.

Prior to deciding this, I did engage in a lot of self abuse. I would repeatedly tell myself I was worthless, I was a waste of space, I did not deserve food or pleasure. I would say these things until I believed them, and then deprive myself. Though I am a big girl, I actually cannot eat very much at all, and am consistently out-eaten by all my ‘skinny’ friends, and even my family. This was due largely to my own deprivation, as well as abuse from doctors- They put me on over twice the maximum dosage of a drug for childhood ADHD in hopes it would cull my appetite. As a result, my metabolism has been forever ruined.

Despite these abuses, and despite my newfound positive attitude, I still do find a lot of discrimination, especially in job hunting. You are much less likely to get hired if you are not within the range of self image the store or company wants to represent itself to the public. There are always the remarks in the store, and from the doctors. There is always the fact that no, you will most often not find ‘sexy’ clothes in your size at all. There’s always the self consciousness, even for me, when I get dressed up and don’t feel ‘pretty’. Overall, I think that a very unique subset of challenges faces the truly plus sized woman… If only for the fact that, as far as physical appearance, it truly is still okay to discriminate against ‘fat people’.

…but you can get them in blood.  (A response to Laurel’s post on health care reform)

Federally run healthcare. Federalized. Healthcare.
I sat down today, and I wondered- what does the government already handle related to healthcare, that they don’t fuck up? I am not a rich person. My family is not rich. Neither I, nor my mother, has ‘normal’ insurance. I have the government program for under-21 kids and she gets free healthcare since she has no job (will touch on this later too).
I have to say, people who think there wont be long waits, substandard care, patient neglect, etc under this program… have you been in a government healthcare program before? I have, and to me, it seems as though they intentionally give you substandard care to scare you away from costing them more money.

Want an example? Well, a long time ago, I did have proper insurance. I would get dental work done, and get nasty dental shots, and I hated them- but they weren’t too bad, really. They gave you a shot in the back of your jaw, near the nerve bundles first, to numb you generally and then they would go in to do more localized shots. They had multiple needles and new needles for every patient. The needles were fine tipped, and clean.

Now, I am on the government insurance. I had to get dental work done. I had to wait a month and a half, upon referral, just for a consult- and then another three weeks for the actual procedure. If it had been a painful toothache, I would have been crying that whole time. Luckily, it was just minor pain and soreness brought on by my wisdom teeth- they needed to be removed or it would have eventually gotten worse. So, when I get the procedure done, they do not numb me first then give me the rest of the shots. They do not have nice clean needles for every patient. They have a large steel needle that appears to be older than I am, and they simply pop new vials of novocaine into them. Then they stab anywhere and everywhere in your mouth, while you’re anything but numb, and fully conscious. They do not pay for general anesthetic or any kind of ‘comfort’ features. You will feel pain. Lots of pain. The procedure, once I got past the trauma of being stabbed repeatedly in the mouth ( 20 times at least ), was not so bad… Beyond choking on the gauze they carelessly shoved into the back of my throat.

Want another example? Alright. My mom used to be on government insurance. She had epilepsy. She needed brain surgery, as her medicines weren’t handling it well enough, and she could not function in everyday life. It took multiple appeals, over a year and a half, for the government disability insurance to approve the procedure. A procedure necessary for her to function in society and have a life. They decided it was not cost effective. Only due to the good graces of a very persistent doctor did she ever get her surgery, which was a stunning success. However, they still demanded she stay on what were then, unnecessary medicines.

What am I getting at? I think you all know. The government insurance option will not be a saving grace, it will not be something to save you- no, it wont. It will be profit driven, and the care will be substandard at best. There will be little to no coverage of ‘comfort’ features, so I guess if you want it you better get used to being awake while they cut on you, since believe me they can cut you while you are conscious, but numb- and since general anesthetic is not cost effective, they will.

How can I say it will be profit driven? Simple. Have any of you read the bill? Even a part of it? I have. Specifically the parts about the panel that decides every single rule and term for the healthcare plan. The panel, somewhat un-affectionately called a death panel, is composed of a group of individuals, 1/3rd of which is appointed by the president, and not one of which must be a doctor. Not one.

Now look at the president’s record for appointing lobbyists and big business moguls, if you will, and tell me with a straight face that you think not a single representative for ‘big pharma’ will get onto that board. This board is the one that decides how care is rationed. Yes, rationed. And let me tell you, the rationing becomes much more tight once you are older and are no longer paying taxes- in fact once you get that old, the main thing they pay for is ‘end of life’ counseling where they discuss ‘dying with dignity’. Now I think end of life counseling is alright… when NOT paid for by people thinking of profit first.

Did you know, on other Federal boards like the FDA, many (I believe nearly 50%) of the members have monetary ties into big pharma? (For more info watch the movie Generation RX, they have a lot of sources and specific figures) There are rules for being on a Federal board, but most of those rules can, and have been at times, waived. Tell me, if they are bribing the FDA to allow certain medicines and keep certain test results quiet, as cited in Gen. RX, do you think that the big pharmaceutical companies and large insurance companies will not bribe the panel members anyways?

Beyond that… Beyond the fact that the panel WILL indefinitely become corrupt (look at congress and senate- bought and sold like trinkets by lobbyists), if you are willing to actually do some work, most of the time you can get free or reduced cost healthcare. My mother now has no insurance. She does not have a job either. When she goes to the hospital, she usually gets her bill written off to a charity, like Carenet. There are similar institutions all over the United States, and most hospitals (Not city hospitals, but around here all the ‘Saint’ hospitals apply for this) will write off your bill entirely, yes entirely, if they believe you cannot pay. You can get free preventative care at your local health department, and you can get free medicine from any large pharmaceutical company- On the commercials, they usually say “Can’t afford medicine? *company name* may be able to help”

It’s easy. You fill out some forms for the free meds, to see if you qualify. At the health department, you have to wait in line a while. Yes, this is boring, and it sounds like work, but rather than work and take the FREE venues for healthcare we already have, Americans are crying, and asking for mommy Government to pick us up and give us a suckle on her teat. This is wrong. Are we so inept that we can’t even stand in a line anymore? We can’t go to our local Health and Family Services board and look up assistance programs? We can’t fill out forms? No… We are begging for the Government to step in and take care of us, because we evidently are too stupid and lazy to take care of ourselves. What’s more, we are begging for the whole country, whether they use the service or not, to foot the bill. Yes, we want to ride the coattails of those who have not given up, and demand that we be taken care of because we are lazy. It is no different than a spoilt child screaming and crying when her mother will not get her exactly what she wants- and NOW.

Additionally.. I’m not a republican. I’m not a democrat. I’m me. I researched this and I drew conclusions from the facts life and study has given me. I agree that there needs to be change- so, why not regulate it like the government does when other companies get a monopoly? Prevent Healthcare from getting as big as it does- You know why they don’t? Because lots of those companies are footing the bill for a lot of people in government to live their lavish lifestyles. Campaign contributions, lavish gifts to congressmen and senators, its our government that needs reform along with the healthcare system. Allowing people already infatuated with how current healthcare works will not make life easier for us. It will lead to rationed and substandard care for the poor, with long waits because doctors don’t like dealing with Government insurance, and it will lead to raised taxes for the rest of us.

Want cheaper insurance? Start paying attention to the donations the congressmen and senators get. You’ll realize why they wont strip these large companies of their monopoly. Want cheaper healthcare? Take action to create legislation in your area or federally, regulating malpractice insurance costs or protecting against frivolous lawsuits. Want cheaper medicine? Maybe you ought to question why they don’t allow import of medicines that cost hundreds or thousands of dollars here, but can be afforded for the cost of a light lunch elsewhere. If you think our government, which willingly participates in allowing the Insurance companies to be big, bloodthirsty beasts, that outlaws import of cheaper drugs, and that botches the other healthcare systems it already runs, will save us you are SORELY mistaken. “