The statistics tell us that one in three women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. They also tell us that one in four women will be a victim of domestic violence.

October is widely known as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a very important cause, and we should all do our part to promote prevention and awareness so that someday no one will have to die as a result of this disease.

October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a fact that is sometimes hiding in the shadows of a less depressing cause. Domestic Violence can be a difficult subject to broach.

It is important to remember that under no circumstances is it ok to lash out and hurt someone in anger. It is never a victim’s fault for the actions of an abuser, and yet so many people do not understand. We would never blame a cancer patient for being sick, and yet society will make a victim of domestic violence feel as though it is somehow their “fault” that they are experiencing abuse.

Some people will ask in bewilderment why anyone would stay in an abusive relationship. Some people don’t want to believe that anything like that could ever happen to them, so they believe that the victim must be a certain “type” of person, or they did something to ask for the abuse. Many people simply don’t want to think about something so depressing.

Books could be written, and have been, on why women (and men too) stay in abusive relationships. If you were to ask someone in that situation, there would likely be as many different reasons as there are people. Children, money, feelings of shame, fear of retaliation. For many individuals, the danger increases once they have left the relationship. It is no one’s place to judge someone else for what they have to do to get through a situation.

Unlike cancer, there is no cure for the evil and meanness in the world. There is no medication or chemo that will make an abuser realize that they are wrong for inflicting pain on another human being and immediately change their ways.

It is hard to live with the knowledge that you will never be able to fully “solve” the problem, but we can affect change. In our families, in our workplace, in our communities. We can, as individuals and a larger group, take the stand that Domestic Violence is not ok in any of the forms that it takes.

I would encourage you, if you aren’t familiar with your local Domestic Violence agency, to find out who they are and where they are. Invite someone to come speak to your group of co-workers, or community group. There are so many ways that you can be a part of the solution. Educate yourself and those around you to the resources in your area. Know the laws of your state. Take a stand for what is right and wrong.

Please don’t shy away under the guise of “what happens at home stays at home” or “it’s really none of my business”. If you see someone in a dangerous or abusive situation, show them that help is available.

You can visit www.ncadv.org to find a list of state coalitions. Those websites will direct you to the agency nearest you. It’s not an easy topic to talk about, but we have to learn to be proactive if we want to see change in our communities. I urge everyone to get involved. Local shelters are always in need of clothing and supplies for the victims they assist. There are many ways to volunteer with these agencies. Help spread the word, and take a stand against Domestic Violence.

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