Anal Sex – Something that is talked about often when it comes to sexual play, but also something that is shunned by many due to fear and confusion. People often wonder whether anal sex is safe, and if it is, how to go about trying it for the first time. Here is my list of advice on proper anal sex, and how to practice this special pleasure safely and smartly.

1. Taking a bowel movement ahead of time. This is one of the most important things, as many people find that feces is often found leaking out or remaining on the end of their penises, fingers, and sex toys after play. This is completely normal, not something to be frowned upon, and can be avoided by making sure to have a good bowel movement some time that day.

Well, how do I know if I had a “good” bowel movement? A good bowel movement can be characterized by getting rid of a lot of feces. If you only got rid of little clumps, trying drinking some water and ingesting some fiber. It sounds a little icky to think about, but it is very important. Aside from worrying about anal sex, good bowel movements are important.

This will leave less feces behind inside of you, and you will have less reason to worry about remaining feces after, or during, anal play. This is a particularly easy step to take and probably the easiest on this entire list of tips.

2. Anal douching. Now, not all people believe that anal douching is healthy, or even appropriate, in order to have successful anal play. However, no studies have shown anal douching to be dangerous. Anal douching gets rid of any “leftovers” inside of your rectum, making for an extremely clean anal play session.

Anal douching kits can be found on EdenFantasys.com, so you don’t have to worry about looking far and wide. The great thing about the kits on EdenFantasys.com is that most are reusable and can last you a long time, rather than others that are throw-away. If you don’t have the cash to buy one from EdenFantasys, you can always buy a vaginal douching kit from the grocery store and use it anally. Just be sure to use warm water in place of the soapy liquids that often come with those kits.

The ingredients in those kits are sometimes harmful, so read the label carefully and ask your pharmacist if you have any questions. If it’s bad for your vagina, it’s most likely bad for your anus, as well. Many people prefer using these kits because the douching liquid is scented and makes your bum smell better. A big part of the ew-factor of anal play is the smell, so this is something to think about, and it is your own personal choice.

You are going to want to douche about an hour to an hour and a half ahead of time. So, if you plan to have anal sex, douche before you take a shower. Some people prefer to do this over the toilet, but I personally find it easiest in the shower since there is a possibility of making a mess on the floor.

3. Relaxation. Many people who complain about anal sex, complain that the thought or feeling of anal sex bothers them, and that they cannot relax enough to have a successful anal play session. You want to be sure to relax yourself fully before you even consider working your way into the anus, whether it is with a partner or not.

If you are the type of person who can relax only when music is playing, put on your favorite playlist in the background, and focus on the music while your partner does the playing. Dim the lights to avoid distractions, light a few candles with therapeutic aromas to relax your senses, and close your eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

This may sound a lot like what you hear in a psychiatrist’s office, but it’s true, and it really works. Relaxing the way you normally would outside of the bedroom is key. You will find that over time you develop different methods, and eventually you will find one that works for you.

My favorite method is massage. I dim the lights, light candles around my bedroom, and have my husband start out massaging my G-Spot with his fingers. That always relaxes me and gets me somewhat drowsy, yet at the same time extremely turned on and relaxed. He starts to use his other hand to massage my perineum and when he feels my vaginal muscles relaxed, he inserts a finger into my anus and massages the inside as well. That is just my personal warm up, but it works every time. Once we have successfully done that, we pull out the anal toys and begin our anal play session. Pain and worry free!

4. Mess control. There is always a possibility for a mess. Whether it be feces leaking during play, smelly lubricant dripping onto the carpet, or possibly blood (for those who don’t follow my next step). The best thing to do is to lay down a sheet or blanket on top of the area you plan to have anal play on. You want to really eliminate having to wash your entire set of sheets and blankets after sex, so this is an important step.

Don’t go sparingly with the lubricant. When it comes to anal sex, you have to really remember how delicate the anal tissue is. Even glass toys, as slippery as they are on their own, could easily tear up the anus without proper lubrication.

Load it up, and lather it on when it comes to using lubricant. You want to use a thick lubricant that is long lasting. My #1 recommended lubricant for anal sex would be Maximus. It’s thick, water based, prevents the spread of STD’s and germs, and absorbs/washes off easily. You don’t have to worry about stains, and your bum will feel good as new the next day.

5. Trim your fingernails. If you plan on having anal play using the hands, rather than the penis or sex toys, make sure that your finger nails are trimmed, filed, and buffed as short as you can. Like I said, the anus is delicate and the slightest jagged edge can put a person in tons of pain.

Don’t start out too big. If it’s someone’s first time with anal play, go for anal fingering or use a small anal plug/probe. You have to remember that a person still has to get used to feeling something large and unusual inside of them. Some plugs even come in sets of small, medium and large. You can work your way up slowly until the person feels comfortable with inserting a penis or dildo inside of themselves.

6. Use lubricated condoms, and always use new condoms when switching back and forth between partners, or from vaginal to anal. The spread of anal germs is very serious and one of the number one easiest ways to spread an STD. Mixing anal fluid with vaginal fluid is also an easy way to start a serious bacterial infection for a female. So be smart, use the correct type of condoms, and don’t avoid using a condom. It is, of course, a personal choice. However, for safety purposes, please contemplate the risks.

7. Practice on your own first. Whether you use your finger, a small plug, or anal probe, practice by yourself first, so you can be comfortable trying anal play on your own. Remember to still use lubricant, douche, and use the restroom before hand. Practice relaxation so that you can see what works for you. Chances are, if you don’t like having anal play on your own, you won’t like it with a partner.

I hope these tips can be of some help for you, and always be sure to be safe. Do your research and be prepared. Have a good lubricant, condoms, anal douche, etc. on standby. Forgetting one of these steps can result in an unpleasant and painful experience that can lead to you missing out on one of the most pleasureful sexual activities out there!