Anal Diary: Why so much misinformation?

So I’m moseying along through YouTube on a slow day and I find an old interview of Sasha Grey on the Tyra Banks show.  I’m not a fan of Tyra, but was really interested what was said in this interview.  What could Tyra Banks really have to discuss with Sasha? Well, it turned out to be more like Jerry Springer than a civilized talk.  I won’t go into the conversation as it’s not my point of conversation, but there was one point that did in fact strike me as, well, insane.  Dr. Drew, who many people tout as the best thing since sliced bread, told Sasha that activities such as anal sex would put her in diapers in just a few years.  And of course, the entire audience applauded at his Messiah-like insight.  My point being this: Why is there so much misinformation about anal sex, especially in the medical profession?  After watching this episode I set off on a wild search of the internet to see what other medical sources had to say on the subject.  Surely there was someone who would play the voice of sanity!

Well, I was wrong.  There is no voice of sanity. I first happened upon a site where people ask their questions that are then answered by one of the doctors that the website has on staff.  The question was a woman asking about pain she was experiencing.  She said she and her husband recently decided to engage in anal sex and now she was in serious pain and felt that she might have damaged her colon.  Instead of giving advice about warming up to anal sex, letting the body relax and going slowly, the doctor proceeded to talk about hemorrhoids, fissures and anal perforation being almost unavoidable when having anal sex. She then said to take some stool softeners to make bowel movements less painful and then don’t have anal sex again. Ever. Why did she not give this woman advice she could use instead of scaring her away without helping? This woman is now going to spread the knowledge of “anal-sex-o-no-please-don’t” on to her friends and the misinformation is just going to perpetuate itself.

I believe that general practitioners of medicine do not get enough education about sexuality and the safe or unsafe aspects of different sexual activities.  However, even gynecologists are not exempt from this “anal-is-the-devil-omg-don’t-do-it-please” it seems. My last visit to the gynecologist was a fiasco.  While I wasn’t even contemplating anal at this time, and during my already awkward pelvic exam my gyno made sure to tell me that if I so much as tried anal sex I wouldn’t be able to hold in my bowel movements and my sex life would be over as I know it. This didn’t help the ideas I already had.  It only continued those ideas until I talked to knowledgeable people who told me otherwise according to their own personal experience.

It comes down to this, websites like EdenFantasys and education websites like Scarleteen.com have never been more needed.  Not only do they provide information on safe sex and sexuality (like Scarleteen) they also provide the opinions of real people with real experiences who are not afraid to explore (like EdenFantasys).  I know in Western culture people are taught that whatever the medical doctor says goes, which is cases of chronic illness or disease I might not argue against that.  However, sexuality is something that shouldn’t be discouraged without knowing the facts and talking to the people with those experiences. And that goes for all aspects of sexuality, not just anal sex.

En fin: Fuck you, Tyra. Bringing a medical doctor who agrees with you onto the show doesn’t make your opinion the end all and it doesn’t give you the right to give out false information to the masses and shame people who actually live happily with things like anal sex in their lives.  Thank you, I’m now off to stick a couple things in my ass out of spite.

On a serious note, if you know someone who has been given information like this on anal sex and it is the main reason he or she doesn’t want to try it, I would recommend you do a friendly act and buy them Tristan Taormino’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.  While it says women, it really is applicable for all genders and sexes interested in anal play.