I’ve never been afraid to show my body in pictures, and put them on the Internet. I’m not a good anonymous sex blogger, but what I have done has served me well. If people recognize me they typically don’t have a whole lot to say. Who’s going to admit that they’ve masturbated to your photos anyhow? One day you are going to encounter someone that’s become a fan… and fantasized about you.
In 2003 I opened a Yahoo Group with the idea of sharing pornographic photos of myself, fake diary entries, and raunchy stories to men who happen to like a BBW sex goddess. The first thing I had to do was figure out how to find a photographer. I didn’t own a camera and I wasn’t in a relationship. There was also no way I could afford to pay for someone to take those sorts of shots.
So I listed on adult classified websites (before craigslist existed) for trade. I guess I became a prostitute even though money wasn’t in the transaction. For two hours of photography, and all of the images handed over to me, I’d have sex with them. I had men contacting me from the very start.
I don’t advocate anyone else just inviting strange men into their homes like I did. I was being risky, both with my health and with my safety. I was exploring my sexuality in as many ways as I could, and I was getting huge thrills from sharing it with men who would reward me. I met all of my potential photographers in public. If they creeped me out at all, they did not get an invite back to my place.
My Yahoo Group was growing, and I had a nice amount of fans by the time my first photo shoot was ready to be posted. I had over 100 usable shots from the first shoot. I posted them in sets, a few at a time, to tease the men that were drooling (and much more) over my pictures. All spring I had photos, and two more shoots (one with the same guy as the first).
I hadn’t even thought of ever being discovered and never planned how to prevent that. (Check the EdenFantasys Edenbloggers Feb Meeting to learn how to say anonymous.) I was just having a good time. So, this little story, while it has a happy ending, could have gone much worse. I’m writing this today because I’d like everyone to remember that what goes on the Internet is there for anyone to see. While you may think that you will never encounter someone that follows you in some way; you never know.
When it came time for my summer classes at the University, I signed up for two classes. One was a science course that was a requirement for graduation. I’d never been in the building that this class was being held, and didn’t know any science professors. On the first evening of class, I sat down relatively in the middle and waited for it to start.
Shortly after, the professor, a middle aged man, pretty unremarkable as to looks, entered the class room. He began in the usual way with roll call. However, he has us stand when he called our names so that he can put faces to names a bit faster.
When he called my name I stood up and he looked at me, and hesitated. I smiled and sat back down, feeling a bit odd as to why the professor would make a notable hesitation in the proceedings. Once the class was underway it got stranger. He was staring at me at every pause in the lecture. I realized that he was trying to place me; that he had seen me before, but I had never seen him so I just let it go, no matter how creepy it felt at the time.
After class I approached him, because I wanted to make sure that this wasn’t going to happen every single lecture, or I’d be totally wigged out by the end of term.
“Hi, I’m [lunaKM]. I couldn’t help but notice that you were staring at me. Was there a reason?”
“You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think I know you.”
Since we couldn’t figure out where he knew me, I left. But when I got home I had a light bulb moment as I sat in front of my Yahoo Group page. I started going through the profiles, trying to find pictures of my fans.
And there he was. It was like the room started to buzz. How as I going to play this out? He had recognized me; soon enough he would figure out where he had seen me. I could be in trouble with the school if I was reported. Do I just take down the Yahoo Group? Would that even help me in this case?
The next lecture day, I happened to wear an outfit from the beginning of a photo shoot. It wasn’t on purpose, just something I enjoyed wearing. Sitting in class in a different seat I tried to concentrate on the lecture. But it appeared he was having a hard time as well. I raised my hand to ask a question, and that’s when it happened.
You know when someone all of a sudden places your face? Like you are in a crowded mall, and that person makes eye contact and then the eyes just widen and the jaw slacks, in an oh my god moment? Yeah, he did one of those.
There was no eye contact with me the rest of the class, which confirmed my suspicions. I went up to him after class because I wanted to make sure that not only my class, but my academic career wasn’t in jeopardy.
“So… I think you recognize me from somewhere.”
“Perhaps it’s best we not talk about it.”
“I run a Yahoo Group, that’s where you’ve seen me. I just want to make sure you aren’t going to report me to the Dean.”
“Not at all. Let’s just keep this a secret,” he stammered.
As I walked out of the room, feeling embarrassed and turned on a bit, I realized that if he reported me he’d be outing himself as well. That sure wouldn’t look good on his record. I never scheduled private pre-exam help that he had available. I sat in different seats each lecture day. I didn’t get an easy A from the class, but I did notice he was pretty lenient on exam questions with me. We never talked about it again.
He didn’t leave my Yahoo Group either. There’s no telling what kind of fantasies he was living with my pictures. But I could guess.
(This story is true, while I have taken a bit of license for recalling exactly what happened, the basics are fact. Just make sure if you sex blog, that you do your best to be anonymous. The consequences could be far worse.)